Sometimes...

...I find myself feeling strong emotions without any way of expressing them. I’m feeling somewhat down and somewhat angry. I guess the world isn’t perfect after all, and maybe I shouldn’t expect it to be.

The thing is, I will expect the world to be perfect. I will continue to demand a high standard of conformation to my ideals of behavior and performance. When things don’t work the way I believe they ought to work, then I get irritated and sometimes upset.

This isn’t rational, don’t think I’m implying that it is. Instead this response is just how I am. I can no more change this than I can wrest the moon from its orbit.

I take comfort in a few things: Music, pets, games, books, and my wife. Oh, and I write. The neat thing about writing is that it allows me to see my own difficulties from a third person perspective.
In fact, as I sit here, from this ‘distance’ I realize I don’t really have anything to be irritated about.

And I feel a little better.

I swear...

...the Government is out to squash my dreams. As it turns out, all that Lunar landscape I bought up isn't worth crap. Now I've got to go to the U.N. to buy lunar property. The U.N.! Great. At this rate I'll own some lunar property in the year 200-never.

I'm depressed.

(on the plus side, it is 66 degrees and partly cloudy today...I'm going to go outside to shoot some hoops in December!!)

Some cool stuff...

... that I present for your viewing pleasure:

-Wow this is amazing. If this doesn't make you want to go places, then you just don't want to go places.

-Speaking of cool places to go, check out this Chinese mountain trail. And no, you won't ever see me on this thing.

-Oh, as it turns out Gmail has now achieved perfection (it took me awhile to figure out how this was different than mail forwarding...as it turns out, I am an idiot). And in a related note I was finally convinced that Firefox 2.0 was worth it for my home computer (no bugs on my work computer). I was convinced by the ability to browse with some privacy, block ads, have my forcast on the screen at all times, check links for website safety level before clicking, and, oh yeah, Pimpzilla 3.38. Seriously though, if you're still using IE as your main browser, then you need to consider an upgrade.

- The MythBusters rule.

- I haven't read this article and I probably won't. How come? Because it employs the phrase "Darwin's Dilemma", in this case referring to oxygen and large animals. Hello mainstream media. Please stop calling things "Darwin's Dilemma", I've heard this, or a similar phrase, applied to damn near every concept in evolutionary theory. You know what Darwin's real Dilemma was? Worms. Earthworms. The guy was fascinated by them. The little worms used to rise up and wave around in the air for no obvious reason at all. He never figured it out. His best selling book (during his lifetime): About worms.

- Apparently one of the last images taken by a human while standing on a different planet. I can't possibly express how irritated this makes me.

- This is a distribution of families in the U.S. in 1840, 1880, and 1920. Pretty freaking cool. My last name is all over the place, but most densely concentrated in Illinois (of all places). I actually have a friend whose name appears just once in the 1840 distribution, and just 4 times in the 1920 distribution. I'd say that family has a lot of daughters!

- Here's a collection of bizzarre pictures. I actually like these a lot, very creative (assuming most of it is done without photoshop, which seems to be the case).

- Could you give up your computer for 20 days? No. No. No. Seriously. No.

- Publishing negative results. Ahh, so important, yet so hard to do. "So I spent 6 weeks of my summer running an artificial stream experiment. Then I spent 3-4 more weeks running samples. Then I spent another 6-8 months trying to write up a paper that has some level of coherence. As it turns out, dissolved organic matter doesn't influence anything I measured." Now, the next person/idiot that comes along thinking this might be a good thing to try isn't ever going to know that this was done unless it gets published. Not to mention the fact that someone else might find an effect, and then he gets published. But does that mean you did something wrong? Maybe, maybe not.

- Oh, and of course, Jurassic Shrimp. I'm sure it is only a matter of time before these show up as an Iron Chef ingredient.

Let's be clear here...

...I'm aware nobody reads my blog for the NBA news (and I've shifted my writings accordingly). I have considered tossing my hat into the NBA blogosphere and creating a separate site so that I can rant about the NBA. I've not done this because I have a long-established history of not following through on stuff, and I'd hate to re-establish that trend after doing so well in this blog.

As it turns out I can quit worrying about it. The AOL Fanhouse recently opened up an NBA section, and there's pretty much no reason for me to bother writing anything NBA-related, they've said it all. There's even a recent article about what a dirty player Bruce Bowen is. I've even decided to move my NBA homepage from Henry Abbot's Truehoop to the AOL Fanhouse. I know, I know, it's AOL, but it is really good!

Anyway, thought I'd point my loyal NBA readers (anyone?) in that direction, and then try to stop writing about basketball here.

Weekly Webcomic Wrapup

First of all: ha! That's great!

In Bob the Angry Flower we find ourselves confronted by the reality that Bob is now a born again Christian. The real question is, if he dies again, and then is literally born again, is he still "born again"? Any biologist will tell you: Plants are weird.

The twisted mind behind Red Meat was fairly funny this week, although I admit, I just like making children cry.

Penny Arcade's Monday strip might actually be comprehensible to non-gamers.

Ok, that's all I got.

Oh, except for 8 or 9 bitter and angry comic strips from "Get your War On." If you wanted to find a visual representation of your frustration with the Bush experience then this is it. I would recommend reading the whole archive.

Trade Iverson?!?

Apparently Allen Iverson has given up on the 76ers. On the one hand, I'm stunned. The guy has been so loyal to that team for so long. He's given everything he's got to them, and until last year I didn't really hear him complaining.

On the other hand, damn. The 76ers have had the best 6-foot player of all time on their team for the past 6 years, and the best they could do is 1 season of relevance. Plus, after peaking in 2001 with an Eric Snow, George Lynch, Dikembe Mutombo, Matt Gieger crew (really? those guys really may the Finals?) the team has gotten worse every year. They had to move Iverson back to the point guard position two years ago because they traded Eric Snow for Kevin Ollie! Let's put it this way: The 76ers don't have any kind of plan at all. They aren't rebuilding, they aren't ready to make a playoff push, they aren't developing the young guys. I'm pretty sure everyone on the team is playing as well as they can except Andre Igudola, and that's just about well enough to sneak into dead last in the worst division in basketball.

The 76ers suck, and I don't blame Iverson for wanting out.

However, this isn't your typical superstar. Iverson has a history of being unable to slide into a secondary role or even set up another scorer (if anything Kyle Korver has been the best 2nd option the 76ers have ever had in the Iverson era because he just stand and waits for Iverson to pass it to him). Iverson just totally dominates the ball, and turns it over a lot.

So here's what Iverson could bring to the table: 5-10 completely ridiculous shots a game (of which maybe half will actually go in), about 4 turnovers and about 8 assists. Oh yeah, and when he's hot nobody in the league can guard him (although we haven't seen that in the past few years) and even when he's cold nobody can stay infront of him.

Who needs that kind of a player?

Teams that probably don't want Iverson

You'd have to think that San Antonio, the Lakers (Phil Jackson hates small guards), Detroit, Jersey, Phoenix, Houston, Dallas, Orlando, Utah, Hornets, and maybe Toronto have no need or desire for Iverson. He'd either mess up the chemistry or wouldn't get along with those coaches.

Teams that need Iverson...and a whole lot more:

Indiana, New York, Sacramento, Memphis, Portland, Seattle...all these teams need a lot of pieces and Iverson could certainly help. However, he's going to go crazy in any of those places, and so he'll probably try to avoid a trade to any of those teams.

Teams that would love to have Iverson, but don't have the pieces to trade for him:

The T-Wolves, Miami, Washington, Charlotte, Cleveland (yikes, that would be formidable), and Milwaukee could probably use Iverson (maybe not the Bucks), but who in the hell would they give up to get him. Is there any chance at all that Philly would go for a Ricky Davis/Randy Foye combo? Or something involving Sean May? I could possibly envision something involving Caron Butler and Etan Thomas (I mean, the 76ers haven't made a good decision in 4 years or we wouldn't be here).

So who's left?

I see a handful of teams with a chance to acquire Iverson and the desire to do so: The Celtics, The Warriors, The Clippers, The Hawks, and the Nuggets. So which of these potential suitors will work out?

The Case for the Warriors: They've got good players here, so plenty of trade bait. Plus they play a push and shoot offense that generates a lot of quick scoring opportunities. However, I don't think they need to make a change. If they could trick Philly into taking Dunleavy, Adonyl Foyle and Pietrus though it would have to be a good thing.

The Case for the Clippers: They need a better point guard. I love Sam Cassell, but the guy can't guard anyone (plus a three-guard rotation of Cassell, Livingston and Iverson would be pretty incredible). The Clips could give up a package featuring Maggette (who could actually help the 76ers), Cat Mobley and the T-Wolves' lottery pick for next year. This is sorta a steal for the Clips actually, but hey...Billy King is still in charge of the 76ers.

The Case for the Celtics: Well, the C's are going nowhere fast until they get a real coach, but they've got a LOT of players who 'could' be good (Jefferson, Green, Telfair, West). Surely some combination of those guys and a draft pick could get Iverson on-board. Of course, this coach couldn't figure out how to use him and Pierce together, so I wouldn't worry about it.

The Case for the Hawks: This is my personal favorite here. If the Hawks could somehow end up with a starting 5 of Iverson, Johnson, Smith, Sheldon Williams, and Zaza Pachulia they'd pretty much be a lock for the 2nd round of the Eastern Conference. Seriously. Play Johnson at the point and Iverson at the 2 and you've got the best backcourt in the past 4-5 years. I'm not sure they've actually got the pieces though: Marvin Williams, Salim Stoudamire, and Josh Childress are the only young talented guys they have. Not sure that's enough.

The Case for the Nuggets: The Nuggets have desperately been in need of outside shooting for the past two years. Iverson and Carmelo just seem like they have similar mindsets and work ethics. The only problem is that this team is playing so well together right now, that I'd have a hard time imagining it being broken up. Who would Philly want here: Andre Miller and Nene spring to mind, but Andre's been playing great. Plus is it too early for Denver to give up on the seemingly talented JR Smith? I mean, two months ago Iverson made perfect sense with Denver, but the Nuggets just had a game in which JR Smith scored 37 points (and 7 treys), Andre Miller notched 20 assists, Melo scored 32, and they ended up scoring 127 points as a team. Not sure you want to add a guy like Iverson to a team playing that well.

So where is Iverson going?

Well, I think the best odds have Iverson going to the Hawks or the Clippers. He's been linked to those cities before in trade rumors, and he's got something they need (experience and points). The biggest wild card is Billy King, who is one of the worst GMs in the league (and at least half of the GMs are complete idiots), so he might take 2 cents on the dollar in this trade and nobody would be surprised.

Ok, well, I know nobody reads my NBA posts, so I guess this was all for my own amusement. Later

Oopsie!

So as someone pointed out, the whole thing about Rachel Ray's husband being a raging pervert may not be the best piece of journalism I've ever done. I didn't look for two sources, I didn't contact the people involved, hell, I don't even know what real journalists do. Someone (me) decided to follow up on that and try to figure out who the sources for the story are.

Turns out this story started out in, none other than, the National Enquirer. So I guess that story is rock solid.

What else is going on?

Well, for some dumb reason Brady Quinn won some college player of the year award last night. Really? Brady "future NFL clipboard jockey" Quinn? He's not even the best player on the team. He also managed to lose the award for quarterbacking to Heisman lock Troy Smith, who has been stellar all season. But hey, I guess they can settle this on the field when they meet in the playoffs. Oh wait!

You know, this is the first season I've really followed college football, and I didn't want to in the first place. I've just kinda gotten suckered into reading about it and watching some games. However, I'm pretty sure this is also going to be the last season I pay attention to college football. Let's consider some of the reasons why:

1. Oklahoma lost 1 game (to Texas) and got cheated out of another (Oregon). Everyone acknowledges that the Oregon loss was an officiating gaffe. Yet I have seen NOBODY mention anywhere that Oklahoma should be a title contender. In fact, earlier this year I heard one announcer saying that the Oklahoma coaches shouldn't get so upset about the Oregon game because the Sooners "weren't going to make a title run this year anyway." Uh...wha? Didn't they then go out and lose just one game all season? Didn't they win the Big 12? I'm just saying that perception kept OU out of title contention more than actual, on-the-field performance.

2. Notre Dame had an outside chance at getting into the title game until they lost to USC. Meanwhile, Rutgers and Boise State were undefeated at the same time and were given absolutely zero shot of playing for the title. Rutgers is even in a BCS conference! Again, just because people percieve the Big East or WAC to suck means they don't have a chance. Perception.

3. Until the coaches and other voters took matters into their own hands, there was a really good chance we'd be forced to watch a Ohio State, Michigan rematch as the national title game. I repeat, there was a very good chance we'd have to watch a rematch as the national title game.

4. My favorite college team, the Unvirsity of Kansas, was bowl eligible (at 6-6). I repeat, a team is eligible to play in the postseason with a .500 record. Judas. Turns out KU isn't going to a bowl, but you can bet any amount of money that Notre Dame would get 1,000 offers if they were 6-6.

To sum up: Professional football, basketball, hockey, baseball, soccer, and curling all decide things by playing games against each other. College football decides things by throwing money around, by doing well the year before, and by avoiding interesting games during the regular season. It sucks, and I'm done with it.

Well that's interesting.

This morning, and most of last night, I awoke annoyed because my cat was smacking something. Maybe opening and closing a kitchen cabinet or something.

Except we don’t have the cat with us.

Okaay.

Turns out, our little crayfish was making the noise. He’s got a big mountain in the middle of his dinky little cage, and he has apparently pulled all the rocks from the tank into the mountain with him. I’ve never heard of a crayfish bashing rocks together, but that seemed to be what was happening.

I dunno, maybe the little guy hates me and is building a machine to destroy my hope for a brighter tomorrow. He certainly does just keep chipping away in there, whatever he’s doing.

So today I decided to buy him a bigger tank. Instead of a 2-gallon apartment, he’ll soon be residing in a 10-gallon house. Of course, I didn’t realize the stupid tank ‘starter kit’ didn’t come with gravel, so I’ll have to get some. That’s annoying. With any luck the change in scenery will be enough for him to decide to abandon his plans for hell-bent revenge on his owner.

If not...well, I’ll move him into my office.

I've already asked the crayfish expert I know (the mysterious 'J' referenced previously) what he might be doing, but she just suggested it was "rocks rolling around in your head." I can assure her, and anyone else, that those rocks are long-since ground to dust. Personally I'm wondering how much of a crayfish expert she could really be if she can't even figure out where the shift key is (didn't we go over this?).

Something

As I get older I start finding myself learning things, and then applying that knowledge to future situations. I guess I’m just getting a little more wisdom under the ole’ belt (despite what my wife might suggest). I’m also finding that I don’t have any idea why I started this post this way. Was I leading to something? Was I going to offer up some clever witticism? Oh right, I just wanted to point you towards my wife’s blog, which is full of vicious lies and gross misrepresentations. In other words: That was pretty much exactly what happened and let’s never speak of it again. Satisfied?

Other news:

* Some people have expressed misgivings, doubt, and horror at the contents of my Christmas list. Let me assure you that as ruler of the planet I would insure that everybody in the world would be able to eat well and sleep safely...Provided they don’t mind 8-foot cement boxes and 15 hours a day of mindless, backbreaking labor. See? Nothing to worry about.

* Other people expressed shock and horror at the fact that I read the blog “What Would Tyler Durden Do?”. To quote my best friend: “”. Ok, nobody reads my blog. Oh wait! “J” from Indiana writes:

“you are really getting desperate for some sort of entertainment - i would suggest a subscription to people magazine”

To which I respond: The shift key is beneath the enter key on the right side of your keyboard and the capslock key on the left side of your keyboard. I know you can find it, it’s right next to the ‘z’. Got it? If you hold that down when you type a letter, the letter get’s “capitalized”. Capitalized letters go at the beginning of sentences or the start of proper nouns. See? Isn’t that easy?

*Much like the Boy on a Stick, I have given up on 2006. Why? Because I can, that’s why! Bring on 2007!

Holy carp...

...College football has some unbelievable bastards. Check out the clips on this page.

I'm beginning...

...to feel a little sorry for Rachel Ray. I mean, damn, how many products can (let alone should) one woman promote? And a Christmas album (she's not singing at least)?!? Seriously, the woman is on my freaking Wheat Thins! I realize people like her, and I gotta say I'm a lot more enthusiasic about a chef being photoshopped onto the side of my cooking products than an athlete, skater kid, or random person looking happy. But good lord, how often do you think Rachel Ray cooks up a batch of Wheat Thins? Nevermind, don't answer that.

On the weird side this is all happening not long after her husband was revealed as a disturbing pervert, so maybe Rachel (after seeing her face on my crackers I think we're on a first name basis now) has just flipped out. How would we even know if she was really bitter, angry and depressed on the inside?

Christmas list

Well, it is that time of year again, and as usual, a lot of people (a.k.a. nobody) has asked me what I would like for Christmas.

What I want for Christmas is:

1. A President with an IQ over 40!

2. My own personal kitchen stadium, complete with soux chefs and Alton Brown commentary!

3. A first-authored publication in the journal Nature!

4. A major grant funded by the NSF or EPA!

5. A new Robert Jordan Wheel of Time novel (prequels don't count)!

6. Daphnia that can fly!

7. Less ulcers!

8. A kidney that doesn't metaphorically resemble a ticking time bomb!

9. Higher humidity when the heater is running!

10. A national championship for either the Kansas City Chiefs, Dallas Mavericks, or Kansas Jayhawks!

or!

11. A world-wide dictatorship with me in charge!

I don't think that's a lot to ask.

Nothing relevant

Ahhh, nothing like a Monday morning of sunshine and experimentation to get the week started.

Actually, I feel like this week is going to be pretty boring. I’ve got an experiment running, and I’m optimistic about the results, but I’ve got a bigger experiment on the way. That means I’m going to be picking teeny-tiny little daphnia babies out of test tubes, putting them into other test tubes, and then repeating that process for days.

Yes. I’m excited.

On the other hand, I’m optimistic that I’ll be able to catch and NBA game this week.

Other news:

- Iron Chef: Battle Cabbage begins this week. Except it isn’t a battle. And we’re doing it over a week instead of an hour. And we’re not Iron Chefs. And tonight we’ve got to use up the rest of this week’s food. But hey! Bring on the Kraut-Burgers!

- The one place we found down here that takes recycling is closing down on Jan. 1^st. I know we’re sorta isolated, and I know this is Oklahoma, but judas monkeys. We really can’t get recycling? Where am I? 1975?

- I really like Dance-Dance Revolution. I find it to be an entertaining way to get some exercise at night when it is cold out. But man, I have heard those songs a LOT.

- NBA: Am I living in bizarre world? How did the Lakers get so freacking good? When did this happen? I thought they were ok in the playoffs last year, but mostly I considered that good coaching. I mean, the Suns had some obvious weaknesses and the Lakers tried their best to hammer them. Right now I’m afraid (terrified really) that the Lakers might be the 3^rd best team in the West. Is this real? I haven’t seen them play, so I can’t tell for sure, but the numbers and talent are certainly there.

Ok, final verdict...

Bookworm is a great game. The basic idea is this: Mortal combat-style fighting that can only take place once you've spelled out a word. There are magical items that make certain words or letters more deadly, but basically, you need to just come up with words up to 16 letters. The longer the word, the better your attack. I can't actually think of a 16 letter word (unprofitableness...I guess I can), but if you tossed one of those puppies out there I think the game would explode.

This is all sandwiched around some hilarious dialogue between the protagonist (who is a worm...did I mention that yet?) and various humans (who treat him like he's a person).

The big downside to this game is that it costs 29.95 to buy. There's only a 1-hr demo. Dang. Oh well, maybe the price will go down eventually.

- I was going to blog about the Dallas-Sacromento game tonight, but since I went to town and didn't get back to half-time, and Dallas is already up by 21 points, I think I'm just going to leave it alone.

Well well...

Apparently the good fellows (or at least Tycho) over at Penny Arcade took Bob the Angry Flower's advice and checked out Bookworm. Furthermore, Tycho appears infatuated with the game. Maybe I will have to check it out.

Sounds like if you like Text-Twist, you'll like Bookworm.

Stocks and whatnot...

The Silvoken Portfolio, a tightly held account known only to a few anonoymous investors, has risen 1.92% in the last two months. Why hasn't this portfolio risen more?

Because of the freacking Canadian government and its unhealthy obsession with destroying the income trusts (I have no idea what an income trust is). Check out this chart of my, previously, favorite Toronoto stock. You might be wondering what happened on October 31st.

Without the stupid Canadian government messing around in my bizniz, my portfolio would have risen more like 8% (if I didn't have Telus). And here I thought the Canadian government was the greatest thing in the world due to their rational take on nationalized health care (the U.S. system is just plain criminal).

Of course, I'm now above my initial investment (minus transaction fees, etc), and since I'm flat broke this is all pretend money anyway.

Still.

Not a lot happening

Apparently the weather DOES get cold here in southern Oklahoma, which nobody told me about, but that was yesterday. Today it is already sunny and a whopping 20 degrees. Ok, that's still cold, but it will get up to 40 today and 50 tomorrow....so apparently it is winter. News flash: Oklahoma City is totally shut down!

Anyway, we've got another tasering victim for you today. Like the incident that started my tasering outrage, this latest travesty took place at a school. Unlike that previous incident, this school was for 6th graders. That's right folks! Cop tasers sixth grader! Oh this isn't Afganistan, where some guy was disembowled and then ripped apart by motorcycles, but don't think that we in the U.S. are unafraid to use extreme pain as a method of enforcing our 'laws'.

Grrr.

In other news I present to you the latest Bob the Angry Flower strip. Now, in this strip we learn that A) Bob has a job, B) people with large foreheads are 'fretters', and C) oh yeah, Bob is fine with animal sacrifice. Before you start re-arranging your life accordingly, recall that in last week's strip we learned that Bob isn't very smart.

Also, the creater of that strip works for PopCap game (yes, BeJeweled). He's been working on a game for them called Bookworm. He makes a compelling case for checking out the game, although I must admit it wasn't compelling enough for me.

Other thoughts:

- Bobby Fischer, what the hell happened to you man? Apparently he doesn't play chess at all anymore, except for Fischer Random (a particular chess variant). Now, I'm a nasty chess player myself, and I would LOVE to play someone in Fischer Random. Any takers?

- Let's see, there was a Muslim elected to congress. Glenn Beck (asshat) asked him to prove he wasn't the enemy. Now some other right-winger made up a story in order to accuse the guy of destroying America.

- Every time I see the Republican National News Network get smacked down I smile a little. Culture warrior my ass: Bigotry and stupidity aren't a culture asshole!

- These guys? I'm not sure what to say.

- Let's not move to Denver. Ok? I don't know how this ever became an issue, but I don't want to live in a place where it does.

- Impressive, if you're into huge cavernous cathedrals, shrouded in dark and mystery, haunted by the ghosts of priests and sinners. Or if you just like cool photos...whatever.

- Ha ha ha!

- Ok that's not really content, just recycled links from reddit and fark, so sometime today I'll post something new. Not that anyone probably cares.

Ahhh, non-productivity...

Well, I'm in that nexus of "done with my morning list" and "not yet ready to start my afternoon list". So let's spend a few minutes recounting some random thoughts:

- Health coverage in this country is a joke. Would somebody please explain to me why we don't have nationalized health care? This is so difficult and annoying that I hate it completely. And yes, I get to have some first-hand experience with the whole process due to my stomach problems. Let's just put this on the list as number 3,487 why I hate Republicans (who seem philosophically opposed to anything that makes sense).

- Apparently it is going to get cold here tonight. I don't think I signed up for that.

- A friend of mine teaches drama at high school. She has a student who signed up for forensics thinking it was forensics science (which is pretty funny itself, and honestly has never made any sense to me). After explaining to the kid what the class would entail, he spoke the following line:
"How can so much evil be contained in such a small woman?" Ahh, high school.

- NBA: In case anyone's wondering, this year my teams to root for are the Mavs (#1 of course), the Hornets, the Hawks (my video-game team) and the Magic. I'm rooting against Golden State, the Lakers, the Knicks, and the Heat. I'd be happy to root for the Raptors if they'd just fire their coach (worst in the league), and I'd like to root for the Clippers, but I'm just exhausted. Oh, and the coolest player in the league is Joe Johnson.

- I just finished Robert Jordan's book "Crossroads at Twilight". I told myself I wasn't going to get suckered back in to the Wheel of Time series (11, 700-page books long at this point, plus a guide and a 'prequel' novel), but here I am. Frankly, I think the guy's kind of a jackass. The series shouldn't have taken this long, he only puts out one book every 2 years, and I'm sick and tired of hearing about it. I've never read something I liked so much that I hated. And yes I realize that doesn't make any sense.
There's another book in the series that I haven't read, and I guess I'll have to. That doesn't really mean I'll like it though!

What am I doing tonight...

...Well, I am working, but for some reason my "working" has gotten tedious. No one will ever tell you this, but as it turns out when you "do research" you have to "make plans". These "plans" are done before the "actual research" and if you do everything really well, the only reward is that you then get to actually "do the research". Yeah, it's like a project before the project. Great!

Let me just go through the steps here for a moment. I usually like to write out my main question, something like this:

Does food quality affect the susceptibility of Daphnia to toxic agents?

You: But that's easy!

Me: Who said you could talk?

The next step, for me at least, is to get out a blank piece of paper and figure out how to answer this question. Here's what I came up with:

Manipulate the food that daphnia eat, then expose them to a toxic agent.

Wow. You may be thinking: Where does he get these great ideas? How does he do it? No wonder he got his Ph.D.

Don't try this at home.

Next up is a schematic to show how your test will work. So for example, I'm going to have 3 food treatments: Hi P, Hi N; salty; and anti-tasty. I create these treatments by raising algae (otherwise known as daphnia dinner) in water containing different amounts of P and N.

My schematic for this experiment looks like this...ok screw you blogger, won't load up my fancy picture...fine I'll just make a stupid table:

No Toxin Little Toxin Lotta Toxin
HPHN 5 reps 5 reps 5 reps
HPLN 5 reps 5 reps 5 reps
LPHN 5 reps 5 reps 5 reps

That means I'm going to need 45 little containers with daphnia in them. I'm thinking about 4-5 daphnia in each container, so around 200 daphnia! Right now I might have 30-40 daphnia, so those little buggers gotta get popping out babies! Fortunately that's not a problem. I started with 8 just 2 weeks ago, and I've already got 30-40! Go parthenogenesis! And seriously, check out that link, apparently virgin birth is possible (seriously, how would we even know if, say, 5% of births were clonal)?

Back to work!

The way I'll do this experiment is simple: After I've got maybe 240 daphnia I'll separate them into three different containers, with about 80 in each container, and for a few days (maybe a week) I'll feed them a particular kind of food. Then at the end of that time I'll use those as my different food treatments and expose them to the experimental design above for 48 hours.

Since most of the people reading this blog are probably my buddies, and have therefore heard me go over this all before, let's just stop here. Suffice to say, this is why they pay me the big bucks (ha!). Meanwhile bricklayers are probably squeaking out at just above the poverty line. But hey, I contribute to society in valuable ways...I mean, if I wasn't doing this, I'd probably have joined a gang and I'd be selling drugs to teenagers to support my paxil (sound) habit.

And nobody wants that, right?

Other randomness (everything that follows will be interesting to a non-NBA fan):

- Ben Wallace plays center for the Chicago Bulls, except when he tries to put on a headband. Apparently Wallace feels like he should have been informed of the headband policy before he signed a 5 year 60 million dollar deal last summer. Personally, if someone paid me a 60 million dollars to do something I'd wear anything they wanted me to wear: Up to and including a fake toilet. Hey, I'd probably do it for 100 bucks and a bottle of Round Barn Wine. Frankly, if it was the Gewurztraminer I might not need the 100 bucks.

- Yet another person in the mainstream media trying to explain pornography and how it affects culture. Everyone who talks about pornography always ends up sounding staggeringly ignorant or collasally stupid. And yes, I pretty much just wanted an excuse to use the words collosally, staggeringly, and pornography in a sentence.

- Have you ever looked up your own name on Urban Dictionary? Well don't. You're going to be pretty irritated when you find out that people are using your name to describe their jerky friends or an impossibly disgusting sex act. What? Is that just me?

- This is pretty cool.

- If you're wondering, I've been gone for a week, so it is possible that I've missed them, but apparently there haven't been any tasering attacks in the past few days. Let me just check one place real quick: Nothing. Apprently this week my relentless onslaught of the Taser corporation gets a brief haitus.

- Finally, not only is the Hummer one of the worst engineered cars ever made, not only is it a polarizing vehicle that is associated with excess and stupidity, but apparently it also can't survive a slow collision into the back of a school bus. I feel sorry for this guy, but I mean, he did buy a hummer.

Yes...back...busy.

But not too busy to forget to drop in a reference to this amazingly interesting website listing 13 things that don't make any sense. I'm not a scientist (oh wait!) but I'm fascinated by these unresolved issues. Is there life on Mars? We need to GO THERE!

That stupid ulcer...

...is back, and I'm barely capable of sitting upright after 12 (count em) hours of what I could only describe as: agony. After 8 hours I broke down and went to the hospital...yes...that didn't really work.

Seriously, I'm about to fall out of my chair.

But I'm not doing as bad as our latest tasering victim, he died.

I can't tell...

...if this is unjust or not. But damn, the Taser corporation must be making a lot of money.

This is sorta embarassing...

...but apparently I'm becoming the "cops unjustly tasering someone" clearinghouse. This time some lucky guy got tasered because he was having an epileptic siezure and someone call 911 to say something was wrong.

For the record, we're up to 8 cases of unneccesary police violence involving tasers, and I've only been keeping my eyes open for a week.

Seriously...

...I couldn't make this stuff up.

Some lighter fare...

Let's pretend the world is ok, and talk about something a little lighter here. Of course, this means basketball.

I'm actually down in the library watching the Phoenix Philly game. Let's do some free association here.

- The commentators (somebody and Bill Walton) keep talking about Marcus Banks 'looking great out there'. Uh...no. He can't pass, dribbles too much, and just generally screwed up the Phoenix offense for the past 10 minutes.

- Allen Iverson, like a lot of atheletes, it probably a little messed up from dealing with the whole issue of the kid dying. If you hadn't heard, he paid for the funeral of a child who was shot for wearing an Iverson jersey. Oh, and his tooth hurts, but he's not getting that fixed until after he passes out 5,000 dinners to the homeless tomorrow. And yes, AI is one of my favorite players in the league.

- Amare Stoudamire isn't back, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

- I have no idea what is going on with Philly. Are they rebuilding? Are they expecting to be good this year? I don't get it? They have no coherent plan that I can see.

- Marcus Banks with the shot...no.

- How come Andre Iguodala isn't better? Is there anyone with more talent who does less with it?

- This "Gears of War" commercial is weird.

- Great, I just saw Pizza Hut advertising slogan is "Go for the good stuff"...uh...ok then. Hello anywhere but Pizza Hut.

- Ok, now the whole funeral thing is being milked ridiculously by the announcers.

- "We can only hope that the madness will stop." Bill Walton. Well, that's certainly true.

- Gee, why are the 76ers back in it? Maybe because the Suns offense is stagnated since Marcus Banks came in? No, it's because Allen Iverson is FRICKING AMAZING.

- Is Dr. J. really on the NBA's "All-Time-Team" (Walton just said he would be)? How many guards can we have on that team? Figure 6 out of a twelve man roster, and you're telling me that Dr. J. is going to beat out Jordan, Magic, Oscar Robertson, Jerry West, Isaiah Thomas, Cousy, or Maravich? And that doesn't even count Dwayne Wade, Lebron, Steve Nash, Wilkins, Iverson, or Kobe. Sorry, Dr. J.: Probably not in the top 12 NBA players of all time.

- And Philly just came all the way back!

- Stupid 007 commercial.

- "Down in Brazil they are loving Leandro Barbosa". I suspect most of Brazil couldn't care less. They play soccer down there.

- Another Marcus Banks turnover. Once he gets the ball the Sixers just try to make sure he keeps it. That seems to be a good strategy.

- Amare is looking ok. Now's the time to pull the trigger Phoenix. Trade him for Garnett RIGHT NOW!!! If Garnett hooked up with Nash and Marion, the Suns would win the freacking championship. They would WIN THE FRICKIN' CHAMPIONSHIP. They might not be competitive in 3 years, but hey, I don't see Heat fans complaining "Oh damnit. We just won our only championship for the next 3-5 years." You know why? Because they WON THE FRICKIN' CHAMPIONSHIP. And yes, I'm a little bitter about the fact that the Mavs passed on a similar opportunity with Shaq.

- Welcome to the human network...cisco. What?

- Oh my god, a female studio personality!? I like this, but she seems nervous, how long has she been doing this? Swin Cash, who's that?

- I don't care. There are not 23 flavors in Dr. Pepper. There's one. Dr. Pepper flavor. That's it.

- Well, I was hoping to call my uncle and talk to him about the game while I was down here, and he doesn't seem to be around...so I think I'm going to go sit closer to the TV and get away from the computer. But yeah, this was fun.

For the record:

Western Conference Playoff Teams (my predictions that I never got out):

Spurs (I guarantee this)
Suns
Mavs
Houston
Clippers
Denver (is there anyone else in this division?)
Sacromento (Musselman is a good coach)
New Orleans
-----
Lakers (Fuck you kobe!)
Utah
Golden State (although they could be fun to watch)
Portland
Memphis
Minnesota
Seattle

What? Is this for real? Portland, Utah, Golden State, Lakers and Minnesota are all legitimately good teams, but I can't see them beating out any of those other teams for a spot in the playoffs [Ed. Note: Well, after seeing K-Mart go down and Utah destroy everybody...I'm pretty sure the Nuggets are out and the absolutely ridiculous "Melo isn't a winner" stories will start again.] Wow...the West is really good from top to bottom. They are going to kill the East. And once the playoffs roll around either D-Wade or LeBron is going to get preferential treatment from the refs and an Eastern conference team will probably win it all.

Fuck you officials.

Oh goody!

That whole tasering thing yesterday? Turns out the chief and head of the police department there says the whole thing was a disaster and that the officers were way outta line. Or wait, actually it was more along the lines of: Fuck you, and we'll taser who we want to taser. Yeah. My mistake.

From the article:

"He wasn't cooperative; he wouldn't identify himself. He resisted the officers," Young said.

Oh great. He wouldn't identify himself? Are you kidding me? This is an offense worth of physical violence? I'm sorry, but it turns out that these police officers are grade A jackasses. I really hope I'm wrong, but as I said yesterday, it doesn't appear like this is in anyway an isolated incident. Examples: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6.

I mean, I just spent 20 minutes looking these up this morning. Oh, and here's in interesting article about why this is happening. Here's a hint: If you're a drug user, you have no rights in a lot of people's mind.

This has been brewing...

The transition from peaceful democracy (U.S. from 1960s-around 2000) to tyrannical dictatorship seems to be well underway. U.S. politician have spent most of the past 5 years justifying increasing amounts of intrusion into private lives by anonoymous and sometimes unsupervised 'police' forces. The goal, presumably, is to stop new attacks like those that happened on September 11th, 2001. However, it is hard to believe that tapping domestic phone-lines or library reading lists are really an effective method for stopping international terrorism. Sounds a lot more like a new method for catching minor criminals and giving a lot more people the capability to act unethically utilizing this new information.

Something clearly needs to be done. Voting the Democrats into power is a start, but what really needs to be done, needs to be done at the local level. For example, no matter where you look, these days, you can find abundant evidence of the misuse of power by police officers. See the latest example here (video here, I'm going to warn you, its a little disturbing). This is the case of a college student tasered in the school library after refusing to show his ID card or leaving in a timely enough fashion for the police at the scene. It almost goes without saying that his name was vaguely foreign sounding (Mostafa Tabatabainejad) and that the administration that should be condemning this action is instead refering to "the safety of the campus community". Yeah...the guy went limp when he was being dragged out of a library!

I could list all the ways that this action was asinine and undefendable: Tasers kill people, the guy was unarmed, they tasered him TWICE! But all you really need to know is that this kind of stuff happens ALL THE TIME, everywhere in the country. This isn't an unusual occurance. The fact that the LAPD use of force policy seems to pretty obviously state that the use of a taser in this way is strictly forbidden seems to have no relevance to the officers involved.

I'm serious...getting tasered sucks. Check out this cop testing out the system.

I've guided us down a pretty narrow path here. Let's not forget the bigger picture. This kind of stuff wasn't happening 10 years ago. It wasn't happening as much 30 years ago. We need to keep it from happening today. If you see this kind of thing happening then don't just stand around, like the students in the video, DO SOMETHING. Do something.

I swear to god you're only one case of mistaken identity away from having it happen to you.

3 weeks is all?

Well, today is Wednesday, November 15, 2006.

Three weeks ago today I woke up from sleeping on an uncomfortable futon. My wife dropped me off at the school. She got the cat some shots.

I was still in NW Indiana.

Today I’m not, and as I realized today, this has been happening pretty fast. I’ve traveled over 800 miles, but I’ve also left that old reality behind. I don’t want to remember it. I miss the people and I miss the cat, but I don’t miss advisors who give me a hard time about breathing hard, freezing weather, and putting up with a bunch of jackasses.

The people here are friendly. Really friendly. I shouldn’t be surprised by that, but I still am. The job is ok, I’m still figuring things out and trying to put everything together. I think everything is going to work out. I’d just like to get going on some experiments, and right now I’m just waiting on daphnia and snail cultures to start taking off.

How long will it take me to get everything up and running here? Probably another two weeks, maybe longer. I’m sitting around right now and reading for 6 hours a day. That’s not terrible, but I’ll get bored if I don’t get something going soon.

Still, I’m amazed at how quickly I’m forgetting about Indiana. At least, forgetting about what it is like to live there.

I mean, it has only been 3 weeks!

At last

Possibly the greatest comic strip of the week.

And just how rich are you?

If this website doesn't make you feel embarassingly wealthy, then you're either not living in the same country as me, or you need to reassess your priorities.

Things I’ve learned in the past few days:

The valve on the jug of media is closed when it is turned parallel to the front of the jug. If you try to lift it before it is closed, you’ll get drenched in algal medium.

That light on the front of the distiller…needs to be on!

Apparently we’re living in a world where Michael Redd can score 57 points in a single game. I’m not saying it’s a good world.

To control my cola drinking I purchased some of those 100 calorie sized cans. I can’t help feeling ridiculous.

My advisor keeps telling me to reference one of his papers: THAT PAPER DOESN’T EXIST!!!

Sunshine is the greatest thing in the world.

Even if you have a fishing pole, it doesn’t mean you’re going to have time to go fishing.

Cleaning a cast iron skillet can be a little annoying, especially without the proper tools.

Waterfleas can get stuck on the surface of water by water tension. Isn’t that weird?

That chair I sit on to play video games at night? Yeah, that one. It sucks.

I’m going to be expected to teach a class next summer on invasive species. At some point I’m going to have to come up with a real plan for that.

Turns out that people will refer to you as Dr. if you have a Ph.D. Who knew?

Sycamore trees are pretty.

Just because it seems a little chilly in the morning doesn’t mean it will be chilly at the end of the day. What does that mean? It means I’ve got all four coats in my office and I’m freezing my ass off to walk to work in the morning.

I look ridiculous in photographs.

My ideas are ok, but nobody’s calling home to say “Wow, I can’t believe I’m working with this guy.” Clearly I’m in the wrong field.

NBA 2k7 is so much better than NBA 2k6 or NBA Live or any other basketball video game that it deserves a new title. I dub thee the “Third Step” in the evolution of basketball video games (previous steps were NBA Live 95 and NBA 2k). \

With any luck the next step will be “NBA REAL LIFE” in which you put on special shoes and instantly have the ability to run, jump and shoot like a particular NBA player (of your choosing). I’d like to think I’m unique and imaginative, but I’d choose Michael Jordan just like everyone else.

As for politics: Before people get too carried away about the Democrats and the fact that they’ve swept themselves into power, let’s be clear about a few things. This is the same party that didn’t stop the ‘let’s legalize torture’ bill. The likelihood of Republicans destroying American values has gone down considerably, but frankly, it isn’t like the alternative is a glowing reflection of our values. The best thing about the Democrats is that they don’t seem to have obvious idiots running the party….yet.

Ahhh.

That elongated sigh of relief you haven't heard on this blog (because I've been too busy to post) is relief at the realization that we finally have a government consisting of checks and balances. For the next two years government will be paralyzed by an inability to get a single idiot leader to work with a party that has no leadership.

For 2 years, we can all breath a little easier, knowing the government won't f*** it up any more than it already has.

Relief.

In other news: I just checked out the weather for my area. That's right, the 10 day forcast never drops below 60 in the highs, and has sun on every single day.

If I could only get my cat here, I'd be living a perfect life.


Oh, and 'the wife' as I frequently refer to her as, has decided she will be silent no more. Go check out her fancy new blog. You'll clearly note where the talent and style reside in our relationship, I only hope you'll continue to glance at my barely coherent ramblings while awaiting her new content.

And no, we didn't realize we had both used the word 'Mind' in our title until long after we finished it. Aparently we're mental. Whew...that was a good one!

It is Sunday morning.

Well, another beautiful day in sunny southern Oklahoma.

I really need to get my fishing pole down here.

We managed to eat out twice in a week. That seems like a lot when you have to drive half an hour to get to where we ate out. But I think we've got enough groceries to keep from going anywhere major for most of this week. I'd like to get the driving down to 1 (or less) trip a week.

Neat little website where you can calculate your 'environmental' footprint. Some of the assumptions seem a little weird, and it was pretty discouraging to find that if everyone lived like me we'd need 3.5 planet Earths. And I'm WAY below the average for U.S. citizens.

Interestingly enough, as a U.S. citizen you cannot, according to this quiz, lower your impact to a sustainable level. That's because the government (whose decisions are in part your responsibility) is consuming a ton of resources, no matter what your personal decisions might be.

Other thoughts:

-- I know it is NBA related, but this is amazing. The subject of the article is a service where you look for things like "Shaq inside the free-throw line" and you get all the video clips of times Shaq touches the ball when he's inside the free-throw line. Instantly! Can we get a service like this for the rest of life? I'd like to be able to type in "George Bush saying 'Stay the course'", and get 50 video clips of him saying that capped off by the interview last week where he claims "We never said 'stay the course'". Or maybe something where we can splice together all the occasions where elected officials make complete asses of themselves.
I guess there probably isn't that much disk space.

--Oh, a list of fun and amusing webcomic strips I've seen in the past few days: VG Cats, the Diesel Sweeties, BoaSaS (and here), PBF, of course Penny Arcade (1, 2, 3), and the almost incomprehensible Bob the Angry Flower.

--Let's see if this works. Hilarious video, if you haven't already seen it.

You should really check out everything these guys have made. That is, if you're interested in laughing and happiness.

--Apparently there's some meth-crazed, sexually repressed, wackjob, evangelical preacher scandal going on (could have guessed 2/3rds of that just from 'evangelical preacher'). Whose to blame? His fat, lazy wife. Yes, you stay classly, modern evangelical movement.
As an aside, here's a description of the Ted's empire in happier days (vaguely disturbing). Is this guy in someway related to the White House? Of course!


--Does anyone else think it is weird that they are going to kill Saddam Hussein? Was there really a good reason to have a trial, in Baghdad? Isn't this the kind of thing that should be done in Geneva or something? And maybe he'd have a comfortably long time to let him fade away?

--Finally, this is kinda cool, although I'm not sure what it means (except that Bush uses the word 'terrorism' a LOT...Jefferson talked about 'debt' and 'constitution'). War, depressingly, shows up a lot.

Wanted: The perfect pet.

1. Its going to be a cat, don't even ask. I don't even hate dogs, just, its a cat.
2. Cute and cuddly
3. But not to anyone else.
4. In fact, sorta has to hate everyone that isn't the wife or I.
5. Occasionally hisses at strangers.
6. Occasionally hisses at family.
7. Needs to love one random friend who hates the cat.
8. Can't eat people food.
9. Can't even want to eat people food.
10. And oh god, no 'marking' her territory.
11. Pretty much means it has to be a she.
12. Seriously, no territory-marking.
    
13. None.
14. Not even kidding.
15. Needs to roll on her back and look cute.
16. A lot.
17. But only for us.
18. Needs to have an unbelievably fuzzy belly that is just begging to be rubbed.
19. But if you rub her belly, she'll slash you up.
20. Unless she's on catnip.
21. Then she won't know what's going on.
22. If she doesn't stick her little nose into every glass that anyone sits down, then she's out.
23. Must hate dogs.
24. Must hate cats.
25. Likes to chase little fish around aquariums.
26. Growls at small children.
27. Runs and hides under a bed every time the doorbell rings.
28. Seriously.
29. Every time.
30. Won't come out for hours.
31. Sits on paper.
32. As in, if you put a piece of paper in the middle of an empty room, that's where she'll sit.
33. Lays on my chest and purrs me to sleep.
34. Wakes me up to get her friskees.
35. NOW!

I miss my cat.

Oh and by the way...

I'm now at Lake Texoma.

I'll let that sink in for a minute.

From May 2002 until November 2006 I spent my days in northwest Indiana. When I left for there I didn't realize what I was getting myself into. I do now.

Lake Texoma isn't quite the prairie, but it is pretty damned close.

If you've never lived on the prairie, then you have no idea what you're missing. People who don't know will say derrogatory things about it being flat and treeless. As if that's a bad thing!

There are only a few places you can go to feel the awesome vastness of the world. The ocean, under any conditions, certainly gives you that impression. Either because of the vast stillness on all sides, or because of the vast mountains of water moving around you. If you climb the highest mountains, and look out around you, then you can feel the size of the earth. You can see it stretching off into the distance.

The prairie gives you that, and unlike the ocean and the mountains, people can live here in peace. I'm looking out my front door (open I might add) and watching the sun go down behind a row of trees (!) in the distance. This is the kind of sight that I could never see in Indiana. Little hills and houses and trees obscure your vision in every direction.

The sky isn't all there is about the prairie though. The air is cleaner. You notice it immediately, even if you get off a plane in a city. The cities of the Great Lakes region and the East are stinky, polluted and dank. The Plains states have so much wind that pollution doesn't build up in the air. Doesn't necessarily mean people don't pollute, but you don't notice as much.

And the sun! Living in the rain shadow of a Great Lake made me depressed all the time. Even sunny days still have clouds. Sun for more than 2 days in a row is rare. I hated it, I hated everything.

Here I have soaked in the sun. Even in November the sun is everywhere. And even when it is sunny in a place like Indiana, the trees, the buildings, the pitiful hills all block the light. Here, the rolling hills of grass reflect much of it back up into the world.

I'm not doing this place justice. I can't, I'm still a little overwhelmed. I haven't even mentioned the people. Waitresses that are friendly even at corporate resturants. Cashiers that seem happy to help out. Random people at the next table who offer advice about finding places. I mean, I'd completely forgotten that strangers could be this nice!

So I defended my Ph.D. on last Friday. And I've moved out of my house. And my cat is stuck in western Kansas.

But I am out of the shadow of Lake Michigan, and into the drainage basin of Lake Texoma...

At last everything is right with the world.


PS:
The food project is back on, pretty much by force. I'm living 20 minutes from a grocery store and 35 minutes from a good one. I bought a cast iron skillet and I've used it for omelot things (I'll look up the name) and frying pumpkin seeds. And those seeds: That's right I made pumpkin pie filling from scratch. Oh yeah. It tastes fantastic!

Back, and thoughts

Hey all, I'm back...I realize I left everyone hanging about my western Conference NBA preview (MAVSMAVSMAVSMAVSMAVS), but I'm sure you can wait a while longer.

What follows is a response to an email I recieved. I'll post the original email (in some kind of quotation) and then my reply. Hope you enjoy, I think the topic is relevant and useful for anyone in the sciences.

EXTINCTION EXAMPLE

While talking about the amphibian extinction crisis
at the National Science
Teachers Associations annual conference, I was asked
a question that I had no
real answer for and I now solicit your help.

Can anyone provide an example of one species (of any animal) that,
because
ithas gone extinct, has caused specific, direct, consequences to
humankind.

The answer to this question should not have the words
(could have, might
have,or should have) in it.

Examples:I know that
we "might have" learned a lot from the Gastric
Brooding Frog, butbecause it
is now extinct, has humankind really directly
suffered? Has the ecological
balance been thrown so far out of whack in
the area that the animal was from
that it became inhospitable for humans to live
there? Have people lost their
jobs and died because of such
extinction?

Or the Passenger Pigeon.
Are we as a people now suffering
because we caused its extinction?

Or Steller's Sea Cow. We killed it. Did it really change the big picture
of
human existence?

I just need one example. Thanks for your time.

I've got your answer in three parts:

1. We could answer this question directly. The best known example ofspecies extinctions is the dodo. While some people have speculated that the name dodo is a derogatory reference to the poor taste of its flesh, sailors utilized the bird as a food source. Hence the loss ofthe bird from the island meant that sailors no longer had access to that particular food source, which was unafraid of man and generally an easy mark. The bird was replaced by pigs/rats/cats on
these islands, all of which were much more difficult to capture and generally required guns/ammunition. As a result: Increased cost to humans. A specific, direct, consequence to humankind. There are many similar examples.

2. A better answer to this question would be to refer to 'functional'extinction. For example, the American chestnut tree. The American chestnut tree once comprised over 30% of the Eastern forests of the United States. The wood of the chestnut tree contains a high amount of
tannins, making it resistant to decay, and therefore useful in a variety of applications. In addition, many families made their living by harvesting the chestnuts from mountainous groves, roasting them, and selling them throughout the year. In 1904 (?) someone at theBronx Zoo noticed a fungus growing on the chestnut trees there, and by 1950 practically every large American chestnut tree in the Eastern U.S. was dead. The entire industry devoted to these
trees collapsed overnight. However, you couldn't quite call the American chestnut extint. The fungus usually does not attack until they are greater than six feet tall, and so the long-established seed-bank throughout the former range of this species continues to push up young plants that never survive longer than a decade. In addition, clever individuals realized that
they could plant the trees far outside the original range of the fungal blight (e.g., Oregon), and they still persist there today. However, the industry that once thrived on this beautiful tree is now almost completely gone. The original question referred to "lost jobs and died"...this is certainly the case in many cases of 'functional' extinction. Other examples include: Newfoundland cod, African cichlids, and various whale species. Yet few of those species are completely extinct. There just aren't enough of them left to do anything useful.

3. I suspect the intent of this question was to highlight the unimportance of species extinctions (and I hope I've at least given some examples of those costs), but I suspect the counter-argument to my examples would be made that none of those extinctions or'functional' extinctions have affected humankind as a whole. In fact the original question stated: "Did it really change the big picture of human existence?" One can certainly point to the resource replacement idea: Well, we lost the dodo, so we released pigs on the island and started
shooting them. Well, we lost the American chestnut and so we started importing European chestnuts. This is why I think this whole question is stupid. For example, if chestnut blight evolved a little and wiped out the European chestnut tree (I don't think Asian chestnuts are edible), then we've lost all our chestnut supply, permanently. In that case, the loss of the
European chestnut tree would have been more important than the loss of the
American chestnut tree, solely because of the order in which the extinctions occurred. The costs of biodiversity loss are not always felt until we start to lose redundancy, but that doesn't mean that it is only the last species lost that was important.

I guess ultimately the biggest question that this email raised in my mind was: What would a change in the big picture of human existence look like? Would it look like the shift from
hunter-gatherer societyto agrarian society? Wasn't that change driven by the extinction of large game animals (partly due to overpredation by the increasing human population)? Or would it look like a shift in the economic fortunes of particular areas?

My 13-hour car ride thoughts...

NBA Preview: The Eastern teams that didn’t make it last year.

Philadelphia 76ers

Last year: 38-44

My prediction: 30 wins.

Why?: Well, this team isn’t any better. At the end of the season last year, Allen Iverson didn’t show up to the last game of the season: Fan Appreciation Night. Now, I realize the team was out of the playoffs, AI was hurt, and the talk all during the second half of the season was how AI was going to be traded. Still. Damn. The 76ers should have traded him, even if they only got 50 cents on the dollar. Seriously, why hang onto him? So he can be part of a team that scratches and claws to even be competitive? Why not get rid of him and move on? If AI hadn’t been such a dickhead at the end of the season I would have felt completely differently about this. Is there any hope at all for this team?

Orlando Magic

Last year: 36-44

My prediction: Around 45 wins.

Why?: Well, let’s see. They’ve got this guy named Dwight Howard see. He’s amazing. Seriously. Amazing! This team finished last year on a 16-4 streak, and I see no reason for them to slow down. I actually think JJ Redick could really help (if he’s healthy), but even without him they’ve got 2 great point guards (Nelson and Arroyo), two great bigs (Darko and Howard) and an interesting set of swing guys (Hedo, Grant Hill, Keyon Dooling and Redick). I like. I think they’re a slam dunk.

Boston Celtics

Last year: 33-49

My prediction: 40 wins

Why?: The Celtics have gotten better. The addition of Telfair and Rondo are going to be big, and this team has a LOT of young, raw talent: Gerald Green, Delonte West, Ryan Gomes and Kendrick Perkins. Hey, they might even be able to revive the corpse of Al Jefferson. I’d like this team to win 35 games off of just those guys right there. Then we come to my man Paul Pierce. He’s easily worth 5 wins by himself, but the guy has been playing a ton of minutes his entire career, I fully expect him to break down this season. I guarantee that nobody would want to play this team in a 5 game series…but of course the NBA decided to make the first round of the playoffs boring!

Toronto Raptors

Last year: 27-55

My prediction: 25 wins?

Why? I love the idea of bringing together a team with a huge amount of international flavor, but it isn’t going to be an instant success. Personally, I think Sam Mitchell is one of, if not the, worst coach in the NBA. During his tenure some NBA players with good reputations (see Rafer Alston and Aaron Williams) have walked away thinking the guy was flat-out, batshit crazy (and people seem surprised Vinsanity didn’t give 100% in his last season with the Raptors). The year before Mitchell assumed ‘control’ the Raptors got 33 wins. In Sam’s first season they got: 33 wins. Last season they got: 27 wins. This coach should be fired.

Charlotte Bobcats

Last year: 26-56

My prediction: 35 wins

Why? The lineup looks pretty good actually: Ray Felton, Gerald Wallace a, Adam Morrison, and Emeka Okafor are all quality. After that the decline in talent is pretty steep, but that’s a good core (if they can stay healthy). The real downside to this team is the coach, who’s had just 3 winning seasons in his 13 years, and the last one came in 1998 with the Wizards. Bernie Bickerstaff…are you serious?

Atlanta Hawks

Last year: 26-56

My prediction: 26 wins

Why? Ok, unlike the Raptors, Bobcats, Knicks and Celtics, we have no reason to believe that Mike Woodson isn’t a decent coach. He inherited a TERRIBLE Hawks team in 2005, and they scraped together 13 wins. Last year they got twice as many wins, so clearly the team is moving in the right direction (not that they could have moved much further in the other direction). Furthermore this team has 5 (!) long, lanky swing players who can score and defend: Joe Johnson, Josh Smith, Salim Stoudamire, Josh Childress and Marvin Williams. They’ve got a trio of bigs that you really can’t complain much about (Zaza, Lorenzen, and Sheldon Williams). And hey, looks like they picked up a starting caliber point guard in Speedy Claxton. In fact, if this combination of talent was playing in, say, Denver, I’d pick them to win 40 games. But this is the Hawks, and Joe Johnson will probably break his leg, or Speedy Claxton will have a piano fall on his head, or the coach will turn out to suck. 26 wins.

New York Knicks

Last year: 23-59

My prediction: 35 wins

Why? This team really does have a lot of individual talent. I don’t think anyone’s questioning that. But it is sorta a weird assortment talent. I mean, I played Starbury and Francis in the same backcourt on NBA2k5 one time, and it didn’t even make sense then. And for the record, I think Nate Robinson totally sucks. However, I think Larry Brown was the worst possible coach for this team. On the other hand, if Phil Jackson had come back to coach the Knicks instead of the Lakers…well, this is right up his ally. Phil would have had this team at 50 wins last year and we’d have seen a thousand Shaq versus Phil Jackson storylines in the second round. By the way, Mark Cuban, if you’re reading this, Isiah Thomas is still the GM of this team. See if maybe you can convince him to go for a Diop-Dampier for Frye-Jalen Rose trade (Rose’s contract is going to expire). It’s worth a shot!

For the record, it appears my playoff teams from the east next year are:

Detroit
Miami
Cleveland
Washington
New Jersey
Chicago
Orlando
Boston

NBA Preview: Eastern Conference Playoff Teams

Ok everybody, time for my yearly preview of the NBA that will only probably be read by myself, my uncle, and anyone else I force to read it at gunpoint.

I’ve got less thoughts this year, mostly because I don’t think much has changed from last year to this year. I’m going to star with the Eastern Conference playoff teams, and work my way from there:

The Detroit Pistons.

Last year: 64-18, fourth straight appearance in the Eastern Conference Finals.

My prediction: They’re going downhill, maybe 50-55 wins.

Why: The loss of Big Ben is important, mostly because who in the hell are they going to replace him with? Nazr Mohammad (excuse me?). I like the perimeter players here, Chauncy, Rip and Tayshaun are impressive, but Rasheed is steadily declining. Plus, they got smacked around by Miami last year in the conference finals. Hell, they had a really hard time putting away the Cavs.

Miami Heat.

Last year: 52-30, NBA champs

My prediction: 52 wins.

Why: Shaq now freely admits that he takes off half the regular season, so they can’t win more than 52 games. On the other hand, they’ve got Dwayne Wade, who’s good for 50 wins by himself. The only interesting question is whether or not the Heat will ever win a game in which the officials are remotely competent (didn’t happen in the playoffs last year!). I hate this team.

New Jersey:

Last year: 49-33. Lost in 5 to Heat.

My prediction: 45 wins.

Why: Vince is good, RJ is ok, but JKidd is getting really old. Where exactly is the defense coming from on this team? Can anyone other than RJ rebound in traffic? This team was all smoke and mirrors last year, which makes me think they’ve got a fantastic coach, but that only works for so long. They should trade Vince for anyone with size (even Kenyan Martin!). For the record, even if this team won 70 games in the regular season, I wouldn’t believe they could beat the Heat, Detroit, Cavs, Wizards, or Bulls in the playoffs. Seriously, the officials and the NBA have made clear by the officiating in playoffs that they are unwilling to let a team like this win it all.

Cleveland

Last year: 50-32

My prediction: 50 wins.

Why: I’m not convinced LeBron can carry this team any further with this supporting cast. Eric Snow is another year older, Donyell Marshall is another year older, and Z. Illgauskas is a terrible fit for the rest of this team. I like the Brazilean, and I like that they got Drew Gooden for relatively cheap, but seriously, is that Snow, Hughes, LeBron, Gooden, Z lineup going to scare a Finals team? Is it even going to scare the Pistons? I don’t think so. Plus the coach looked shaky in the playoffs last year (but I wouldn’t count him out yet). The x-factor here is LeBron. Maybe he is even better than I think.

Washington.

Last year: 42-40.

My prediction: 42-40.

Why: While Gilbert Arenas and Caron Butler are a good foundation, I wouldn’t believe in this team any more than I’d believe in Jersey, and frankly, RJ and Vince are better supports than Caron and Jamison. Speaking of Jamison: Has anyone ever been as productive as he is without becoming a permanent All-Star? I mean, the guy is a 19.4 ppg, 7.6 rpg power forward whose averaged 20 ppg in 6 of his 8 seasons. Last year he averaged 20.5 and 9.3! If I were drafted by Golden State I’d probably just shoot myself.

Indiana.

Last year: 41-41

My prediction: 35 wins

Why: Not even the fantastic coach Rick Carlisle can keep this train from exploding. Jermaine O’Neal may never play a whole season healthy. Stephen Jackson may never get through a season without getting charged with something. This team needs a complete overhaul. And yes, I think it’s hilarious that Ron Artest killed Reggie Miller’s last season and the Pacers kept him long enough to destroy another season. Good bye from the playoffs Indiana!

Chicago.

Last year: 41-41.

My prediction: 45 wins.

Why: I think Ben Gordon is terrible. They should have traded him after his first season. The guy is inconsistent, shoots too much, can’t make a decent pass, and never seems to play man-up D. No wonder Chris Duhon has a career with the Bulls! Anyway, the problem the Bulls had last year was post scoring. That’s IT. What did they do in the off season? They picked up Ben Wallace, possibly the only player in the league who is as bad on offense as Tyson Chandler, and he’s only getting 1-2 more boards a game. There was exactly one player available who could have helped them: Al Harrington. The one guy available who can score in the post. And oh by the way, they allow the best post player they had last year (Darius Songalia) to slip away without compensation.

Milwaukee.

Last year: 40-42

My prediction: 38 wins.

Why: The rest of the league got better. I think the Villenueva-Bogut front court could be really special, especially if Charlie stays angry, but this is a team that will need a few years to get it together. For the record: Michael Redd is not worth max money. Yes he can score. What else can he do? What else can he do? Hmmm. Still waiting on that. Meanwhile the team needs a point guard to complement that Simmons-V-Bogut frontcourt that is young and talented. But that doesn’t mean the Ford-V trade wasn’t totally worth it.

So, for the record, that means I’ve got the Pacers and the Bucks falling out of the playoffs in the east. Who do I think is getting in? You’ll just have to wait till later to find out.

And maybe I'm back.

Wow, it has been a long time since I've posted something. Let's go through some items here:

1. Been on the road for the last week. Move my stuff from my house to my parent's garage (cuz I don't have anywhere to put it in Texoma yet), then went my sister-in-law's wedding, then moved my wife down to Texoma, and then came back to Indiana. Whew. 2800 miles in less than a week by car, plane and bus. Exhausting.

2. Yes, the cat and I are in Indiana alone, with no furniture, T.V., computer, or anything. And since the cat was abandoned for a week, she can't get enough lovin. When I'm in the house she can't stop rubbing up against my legs and purring. Poor baby. And I think we're going to have to send her to the in-law's house for awhile while we find somewhere to live in Texoma that allows cats.

3. My dissertation is done, which means that basically all I've got left to do to get my Ph.D. is actually defend the dissertation. I hope to hell that goes smoothly. That takes place at 1 30 on October 27th, and with any luck I'll pass.

4. I haven't been cooking much, and to be honest its driving me crazy. I want a kitchen like on Iron Chef. If we buy a house, we're rebuilding the kitchen to include everything!

5. NBA: The over-unders are now posted in various places. Yes, I'll be posting my NBA preview soon.

6. I'm back in the hunt for a car, but I'm not entirely sure it is going to happen this time either. Unless the wife get's a job, or our house finally sells, we're not going to have the financial freedom to do much of anything. Hopefully one or both of those things will happen soon.

7. In two weeks I will not have access to Thai food from a resturant. That, my friends, is a sad, sad fact that has not left my mind. Oh drunken noodles, how I will miss you!

8. The novel-writing has resumed. Right now I'm doing 2 pages a day, instead of 1, to make up for the two weeks I missed while finishing my dissertation and doing all this traveling. The book is coming along nicely, although I think I'll have to re-write large sections of everything to make it work a little better. I'm a little worried I may end up with more of a novella than a novel. We'll see.

9. And that's all I've got right now. I wrote a bunch of poems last week, and I might post some later. We'll see.