Anchorage

Anchorage is the gateway for most of Alaska. It is, at least for me, a transition city. I was there for a week attending the conference before my wife got to town. This week was a lot of fun, but also exhausting. Anchorage is the one place in Alaska that feels like 'anywhere' USA. Strip malls, McDonalds, multiplex theatres, and everything else. Lots of cars.

On the other hand, there are a lot of trails, parks and bike paths in Anchorage. You run the risk, basically anywhere, of running into a moose. The week we were there saw a rash of black bear raids in the city for people's garbage, food, and for baby moose. In every direction you can see impossible mountains, including the unbelievably massive Denali.

So Anchorage is a bit of a mixed up town.

We arrived by plane at around 11 o'clock. We needed only a half-hour to get all our stuff into the bed and breakfast we were staying at.

Did I mention it wasn't dark at all? I knew, on an intellectual level, that there would be little real darkness in Alaska. I didn't know that my body would react so strangly to this fact. I was never ready to go to sleep during my first week there. I felt, always, as if I should be doing things. So at 11 30 (3 30 ET) my buddies and I left the B&B and headed downtown to see what was happening.

The week unfolded strangly. Unlike previous conferences I've attended, I didn't have the "my god this is fantastic" feeling at this conference. I can't quite put my finger on why that is, maybe because I've done it before, maybe because I felt like I was going to be away from home 'forever', maybe because I was just stretched too thin from not sleeping (too much light). Whatever it was, it haunted me throughout the first part of the week. Eventually I started to warm up and feel my usual excitement for new research ideas, but the beginning of the week I wasn't myself.

The resturants in Anchorage are pretty good, even if you don't like salmon. But, let's be clear, salmon is it. I'm not sure you could realistically survive in Alaska without eating a lot of salmon. The biggest irony of the week was that the big banquet for the society served what everybody said was the worst salmon they'd had all week. Ha! I got the veggetarian meal: A tri-color ravioli cheese dish with stir-fry asparagus. Tremendous.

This was also my first real week of not drinking anything carbonated or caffienated. Since this conference is always a major party, and I don't like to feel totally left out, this means I drank a lot of wine. In fact, during our big end-of-conference-bash I drank a whole bottle of a Riesling from Washington State (excellent).

The science was pretty good as well. Lots of people gave bad talks, but I'm going to give them the benefit of the doubt: Long plane ride, 4 hr jet lag, and many people were distracted by the fact that they were in freaking Alaska.

See that's the thing, this is a group of ecologists. Deep down, most of us would love to be living in little cabins out in the open air. We'd like to live with the land. To poke and prod around streams, rivers, lakes, soils, and forests without harming the land. Most ecologists are unimaginable nature buffs. If you went to a society of physcologists and said "Yeah, I've been living in a one room cabin without heat or running water for the past three months while doing my research." the society might very well have you committed. If you mention that to a group of ecologists, they will be amazed, astonished, and (this is the key) incredibly impressed. "That's real ecology."

In fact, the ecologist ideology is almost like the macho-man syndrome. At these meetings there is a lot, a lot, of drinking. The most respected and admired members of the society are often seen closing the bars in whatever town the conference happens to be in, then getting up in time for 8 o'clock meetings the next day -- for 5 days straight. And that's what these guys are like in their 50s and 60s. I can't even imagine what these guys were like in their 20s. The science goes the same way. You would never admit you didn't do something just because it was impossibly difficult. Sample streams in the middle of winter, so that you have to dig through 12 inches of snow and another 12 inches of ice to get at 3 inches of flowing water? Of course we did, what do you think we are? Cell biologists? Lab rats?

Depressingly this isn't the case for the women. After numerous discussions with younger and older women in the society, I've decided the macho-ecologist syndrome is mostly reserved for the guys. There are a few women who do the same kind of thing, but by and large, the big-wig women in the society are just quietly brilliant. The guys get a little more attention. I guess that's just a matter of the personalities. Some of the younger women I've talked to think it is a sign of subtle discrimination. They might be right.


The other major event that happened in Anchorage was that I lost my wallet. This happened the last day I was in Anchorage without my wife. This was a catastrophe for two major reasons:

1. I was pretty sure it was accidently taken by one of the 8 people who left the B&B that morning. The only people who had been in the B&B were people from our immediate circle of co-workers and friends, and I seriously doubted anyone would have intentionally taken it without telling me. So I was pretty sure that if I waited until late that evening (when 6 of the missing 8 people would return), I figured the odds were good that I'd have my wallet back. Of course in the meantime I was without ID, money, cards, and $350 in cash.

2. I mentioned this to my wife. I knew I shouldn't have, but I had to make sure she was bringing her checkbook (so I could pay the B&B). She was already on her way to the Chi-town airport for her flight, and she basically flipped out. She was worried, frazzled, angry, and very tired when she arrived in Anchorage (I hadn't gotten the wallet back by then).

As it turned out my wallet (which was in my rain jacket) had been taken by the group of women who had left in the morning. Of course, I didn't get it back until after my wife had arrived in town and 'severely lectured' me on my idiocy.

That was Anchorage. We came back later in the week for a couple of random night and watched movies: A Prairie Home Companion (excellent) and MI:3 (not that bad). We also bought a bunch of ulus as mementos for family members. Overall I'd say Anchorage wasn't that fascinating. If you go to Alaska, fly into Anchorage, but don't stick around. Grab some food, maybe an ulu, and then get yourself the hell out of there.

Alaska Pt. II tomorrow!

Is it time to stop watching the NBA?

Before I start in on the Alaska trip (tonight or tomorrow), I feel i ought to add some thoughts on the NBA Finals.

1. The NBA officials are terrible. I understand that experience matters, but when 60 and 70 year-old men are officiating a bunch of 20 somethings, experience might be overrated. In this postseason we had one official (I can't remember his name) admit that he didn't hear timeouts being called at critical moments (Game 4 of the Lakers-Suns series). I can think of 4 distinct games where officials called at least one 'phantom' foul-- that is a foul when the defensive player didn't actually touch the offensive player (Games 5 and 6 of the Finals, Game 4 of Bulls-Heat, Game 6 Spurs-Mavs), and I only probably watched half the games. Why do phantom calls happen? They happen because officials see a jerky movement, or an awkward shot, and assume that contact must have taken place. At least, that seems most likely. I guess it is possible that the officials are involved in some kind of conspiracy.

2. Dwayne Wade is the Man. I hate his team (more on that in a minute), but I love his game. Tremendous shot selection, drives the lane constantly, finds open teammates, perfect jumpshot. If D-Wade adds a three pointer to his arsenal in the offseason, then he'll be in Jordan territory (offensively). On the other hand, his defense isn't very good. He's very atheletic, and he can block shots, but he doesn't really guard his man very well. He seems to lack some defensive presence. But I'm quibbling here. The officials are threatening to turn Wade into the new Kobe (much hated), but it isn't Wade's fault. If I had his talent and ability to get the refs' love, I'd do so.

3. Diggler. Forget the numbers, he had a decent Finals. The numbers weren't there because the Mavs have just one other consistent offensive option: JTerry. I think the Mavs forgot about him a lot too, following the Spurs series. Against the Spurs the Mavs didn't really run their offense through Dirk the way they did in the regular season. Instead he did things in spurts. And he was incredibly efficient. The Heat, however, have better defenders (Posey and Haslem over Bowen and anybody other Spur), and the Heat defenders aren't thugs who commit fouls on every play. Dirk was the best player in the first 3 rounds of the playoffs, and the 2nd best player in the Finals. I think he'll get another chance.

4. Haslem. I really love Haslem's game, even though his great play means that Wayne Simien will probably never get significant minutes with the Heat. Haslem hustles, gets boards, and makes the 12 foot jumper. He's kind of an idiot sometimes (the stupid snarl), but hey, who isn't. I really wish the Mavs had Haslem instead of Dampier.

5. Josh Howard. He just needs to get better.

6. The Miami Heat. I've really grown to loathe this team. Bill Simmons just wrote an article about the Finals, and he really hit the main reasons I hate the Heat. Nevertheless I'll recap them here:
- Pat Riley almost ruined the NBA for good when he was with the Knicks and the early Heat teams. The thugball he practiced damaged the game.
- Alonzo Mourning, as evidenced by his dealings with the Nets and Raptors, is a selfish, arrogant braggart who should not have been given another NBA contract.
- Antoine Walker played for the Mavs two years ago. That was the only year in the past 5-6 that the Mavs didn't make it out of the first round. Why? Because Antoine could understand that he wasn't Kobe Bryant. Now? Suddenly he gets it. And that 'on-my-back' shimmy he gave in the third quater was the most aggravating thing I've ever seen.
- The Heat rely on the officials all the time. Games where they get calls, they win, games where they don't they lose, games played without a major official effect they do ok.
- James Posey. I'm not going to forget the knock-down of Kirk Hinrich in the first round. The league is honestly telling me that Stackhouse's hard foul on Shaq's layup is as bad as Posey just knocking Hinrich to the ground? Surely you jest!

7. The whole NBA. I'm a little sick of it at this point. For the past few years the NBA has been plagued by poor officiating. I'll trot out as the prime example Game 6 of the Western Conference Finals between the Lakers and Kings. Lakers fans might remember this as the game where Big Shot Rob made that big shot. The officiating in that game was so bad (and so astonishingly one-sided) that the very game itself was different. And if that happened once ever blue moon it would be merely frustrating, and that's it. The past 3 years I have watched a lot of NBA games. Here's the reality: Each NBA game operates under a unique set of officiating conditions. Officials interpret the rulebook differently based on things like home v. away, star status, time left in the game, and the score. Take the ridiculous traveling violation by the Heat at the end of Game 6. Haslem and Posey (I think) grab the board and tie up the rebound. I didn't see any traveling violation, but it could have been there. Looked like a thousand other routine wrap-ups of a loose ball. If the game was in Miami there would be no call. If the lead was 15 there would be no call. If that was the 1st quarter there would be no call. If it was Shaq or Nowitzki who grabbed it there would be no call. But the game was close, at Dallas, with no STAR involved and Dallas needing a 3 to tie. This isn't speculation, just watch a couple dozen playoff games. This is just how the game is officiated.

Frankly I'm sick of it. I'm losing interest. Why should I care? I don't watch the WWE, and I don't really need to watch the NBA if the officiating is just this bad. Every game has a different set of rules, and often one set of rules or another is beneficial to one team or the other.

So I may be done with it. I'm not sure I can care much about a league like this. The NBA has had its chances to change this. We saw it coming with the way Jordan got calls, and it got really really bad with those Kobe-Shaq teams. The league could have done something, but they didn't. Instead it has continued to get worse, and now we have an NBA Finals where the pivotal Game 5 was completely tainted by the officiating. We have a league where every single time a guy goes into the paint he expects or will get a foul call.

I feel like I'm losing interest.

Is it time to stop watching the NBA?

Maybe.

Back from Alaska

Speculation ran wild amongst those close to the situation. Was it above or below 500? 550 maybe? As it turns out the answer topped out at 854. The question?
How many pictures did we take in Alaska?

Probably the best of the 'wildlife' bunch is shown above. That wolf is in Denali National Park, and had the courtesy to mosey alongside our shuttle bus for a good 30 minutes. No grizzlie gave us the same show, but I'm told wolves are far less common.

Allow me to present today's post as the summary of our trip, but rest assured that detailed descriptions of the events are soon to follow. To the summary:

NABS: The whole impetus for the trip to Alaska was the North American Benthological Society's annual meeting (the 54th in fact). The meeting was fantastic, but I'll describe it (and my thoughts on scientific conferences) in detail elsewhere. Let's just say that it took all of that week for me to get adjusted to 24 hrs of daylight and a 4 hour time change. Adjusting made me depressed and somewhat miserable. I compensated by drinking a lot of wine. This, pre-wife, week was punctuated by some of the women we were staying with inadvertantly taking my rain jacket, which just happened to contain my wallet. They left at 9 in the morning and I didn't see them again until after midnight. I had no idea where the wallet actually was, so this represented a period of high stress.

Seward: A misty coastal village. Good food, good views (when the skies clear), mediocre to crappy accomadations, and I touched a glacier. We took a boat cruise into the bay here to look at stuff: Glaciers, whales, otters, puffins, etc.

Anchorage: Very touristy, and the only part of alaska that feels like part of the lower 48. As in, strip malls, etc.

Denali/Healy: Amazingly beautiful. The phrase "Just another scene of unimaginable beauty and splendor" was a constant one in our vocabulary. For someone who has lived almost entirely in flat states with lot's of farming, Alaska is astoundingly vertical. On the other hand, the inability to see long distances caused us quite a bit of bear-related angst (details to follow).

We ended up spending an absurd amount of money in Alaska. We'll be eating cheap and ignoring monetary vices for awhile. All in all though, the trip was amazing. Hopefully I'll be able to get over the jet lag from the overnight return trip soon.

Oh, and Go Mavs!

Alaska and Dirk

Well, I'll be in Alaska for the next 2 weeks. Exploring the great north and going to a conference. Yay!

Before I go though, I just want to address a topic on Mike and Mike in the Morning (ESPN Radio). The question was:

"What NBA player would you pick to build a team around, for now and the future?"

Specifically the context of this was: Who would you pick above Dirk Nowitzki?

In my opinion there are only two players you could possibly justify picking above Dirk: LeBron James and Tim Duncan.

LeBron is obvious: Young, unbelievably good, probably has 12 All-NBA seasons left in him. Seems like he'll be good in the playoffs as well.

Timmy: Multiple MVPs, Finals MVPs, Championship rings, All-world offense and defense. Only 30, so he's probably got 1-2 more years at his current playing ability (All-time fantastic), and another 3-4 at merely All-Star calibur play. Plus he's a great team guy.

Now, the Mike and Mike guys, without hesitating, picked some other guys above Dirk.

Kobe: You've got to be kidding me, right? Kobe? Kobe doesn't make his teammates better, can't carry his team to 50 wins (let alone the Western Conference Finals), already has a lot of wear on the tires (that's 10 years and 827 games he's played so far, despite being just 27), and is pretty much the worst example of a team guy you can imagine.

D-Wade: I love Dwayne, but I'm sorry, only one team in the past 25 years has won without a scoring big man (see Bulls, MJ's). Not for a second would I build my team around a guy who crashes to the floor 15 times a game in the regular season. Even with the new rules, I still look around and see 3 of the final 4 teams with dominant bigs (Shaq, Dirk, the Wallaces), and 5 of the final 8 (Elton and Timmy). Sure your bigs gotta be faster or with more range, but c'mon.


Let's not say this too softly: Dirk is the best player in basketball right now. Forget the 50 point explosion in Game 5, that wasn't even all that impressive. Go back to the Spurs series. There wasn't a game in that series where Dirk wasn't incredible. He shot over 55% from the field in 5 different games. He had 15, 15, 21, 14 and 10 boards. And even though he went to the line often, Dirk wasn't getting anything like the kind of respect from the refs that Duncan was getting (especially in games 5-6-7, when breathing on Duncan was called as a foul). Didn't matter.
Plus, the guy's only 27, with about 130 less games than Bryant. His numbers in Game 7s (and the old first round Game 5s) are astounding.

The guys on Mike and Mike were suggesting that Nowitzki doesn't help his team when he isn't scoring, but that's just insane. The guy rebounds, he doesn't block a lot of shots, but he does make things difficult. He draws fouls. On the offensive end his mere presence causes the opposition to completely lose their cool. There hasn't been an offensive weapon like this in the league since Shaq was in his absolute prime.

I'm not saying the Mavs are a shoo-in for the title. I think they are probably the favorites, but that Miami team looks really good, and Phoenix isn't exactly easy to knock out. The reason they might not win it all: The rest of the team. Dirk's doing all he can. He literally cannot play any better than he is right now. But Josh Howard has some learning to do. Jason Terry makes random mistakes. Devin Harris doesn't quite get it all the time. Diop is playing amazing, but against the Heat Dampier is going to have to pick it up. Van Horn is completely random. And Marquis Daniels has let me down big-time. Jerry Stackhouse has probably 4-5 plays a game where he forgets that he isn't 24 anymore.

The fact that the Mavs are this close is a tribute to Avery's great strategy, Dirk's brilliance, and Mark Cuban being willing to say: Hey we've got a decent player at position X, but we could probably use another.

Go Mavs!

Without preamble or comment, here's my answers to the initial question:

1. LeBron
2. Timmy
3. Dirk
4. Shaq
5. Elton Brand
6. Wade
7. Kobe
8. Yao
9. Melo
10. Dwight Howard

Probability Sun and Space

As I recounted here last week, I recently read Nancy Kress's Probability Moon. I didn't really like it, mostly because the book seemed to be introductory to the rest of a series. Well, now I've read the rest of the series.

Not totally surprisingly, Kress returns to the scene of Probability Moon, a planet called World, where people have evolved in the presence of a weird probability field (like an electromagnetic field, only not). This has caused them to develop a 'shared reality' that is enforced by head pains.

The most interesting aspects of the first book were: 1) mankind's on-going, but poorly explained, war with the 'Fallers', 2) the left-over technology slowly being understood by humans and possibly Fallers, 3) the open question as to whether or not Worlders have free will.

After reading the second two books I've learned a lot. Starting with # 3 and working backwards:

I've decided the Worlders do, in fact, have free will, at least in the same sense that we do. The probability field, while restricting their thoughts and actions, is essentially an emergent part of their environment. Much as we have inherent limitations placed on us by our environment (i.e., gravity), so do the Worlders. The apparent 'freedom' experienced by them after being freed from the field is simply a change in behavior caused by a changing environment.
What's strange about this series is how Kress is clearly fascinated by the Worlders in book 1, but by book 3 they are completely played out. Nothing interesting remains. Her loss of interest follows the loss of 'shared reality'.

The left-over technology is also interesting. The whole point of these books is a search by humans to understand the technology of the weirdos who seeded the galaxy, built all these quantum entanglement gates, and then disappeared. This is being done in order to win the war against the Fallers. I'll be honest, I think the whole concept is fairly stupid. Want to keep an alien from coming through subspace tunnels into your part of space? Build a frickin' wall! This shouldn't be rocket science. Instead the humans in this weird future are intent on shooting alien ships with "beam" weapons. Fine, whatever. That works ok until the aliens develop some badass technology, or did they just find it?
At any rate, the books focus on three left-over technologies: Gates that connect different solar systems, a moon-like object orbiting World, and an object embedded in World. All these technologies seem to act via probability fields, and do weird things that are never fully explained (the physics are never explained: too difficult). The function of the moon-like object is never discovered, and it ends up being destroyed with a tremendous probability field effect (causes nuclei to decay much faster, thus releasing radiation). The embedded object is removed and used as a political and military weapon. The climax of human understanding of this technology comes as we rip a hole in space-time that causes all of this technology to be lost at once.
The loss of the gates means that humans are stranded all over the galaxy. We have no ability to repair the gates, or fly between stars. The first thing one might wonder, is if this is not the first time such a gate-closing has occured. All the species humans come into contact with (other than Fallers) have DNA, meaning they have the same ancestors as Earth organisms. The humans in the book link this to some long-ago 'seeding' of the galaxy by whoever built the gates. But several clues suggest a more complex story. Some solar systems have multiple gates, but those 'nodes' in the galactic gate network are not in proximity to human-friendly planets. I think what happened is that the builders of the gates live on gas-giants, or use gas-giants, and that the 'seeding' is a result of a later race spreading throughout the network and setting up colonies much as humans do in the book. The possibility exists that the gates are still in use by other creatures (dark-matter beings, other, non-obvious movers).
At any rate, one of the key themes of the book is responsible use of unknown technology, and the benefit of self-development before expansion. I'm pretty sure I think that's stupid, but whatever.

Finally, the war with the Fallers is explained in much greater detail. We get to 'see' one. We get to communicate with them somewhat. Surprisingly, they seem extrodinarily willing and able to communicate, despite the fact that they "started firing as soon as we entered their star system". Is this a subtle indication that Fallers didn't start the war, but humans did?

In summation. Nancy Kress pulled herself back to mediocrity in my mind with the last two books in the series. Reading them separately would be a mistake, as they were obviously written at the same time (and just have a different feel than the first book). Some of the background info in the 3rd book is a word-for-word copy from book 2, but I guess I can't get too irritated about that. Overall I wouldn't say this trilogy is the new Foundation, but it is a nice story that leaves a lot to the imagination. I'd recommend it and I'll probably see if I can find other stories by her that fall into the same universe.

5/10

Some random thoughts

I'm just not interested in the Pistons-Heat series. I can't see either team beating the Mavs-Suns. And the style of play is bizarrely different. The Finals is going to be weird either way.

There's a frog in an aquarium sitting on my officemate's desk. What the hell does a frog do in an aquarium?

Last night my cat stuck her tongue out at me, so I returned the favor. About 10 minutes of tongue wagging ensued. I’m not sure she knew what was happening.

If we move, and we end up without a backyard, I think I’m going to set up a little pond inside. How cool would that be? Instead of an end-table, a small fish tank. I like it.

I’m not really against Jones Soda’s “Fufu berry.’ The flavor is good. But can we get something other than Fufu in the title? What is a ‘fufu’?

Yesterday I found on of my crayfish clinging to the roof of the aquarium, completely out of the water. Just hanging there, upside down. I wonder why? I wonder what he was thinking. Eventually he let go and fell back into the water.

Well, I’ve been caffeine free for a week. Wow. This is a strange new world, and I’m not sure I like it.

Well, back to work!

Chris Mannix, you silly fool

So some guy named Chris Mannix thinks he's all the sh#t by saying "Name me 7 centers you'd take over Zydrunus Illgauskus." Link below:

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2006/writers/chris_mannix/05/24/mailbag/2.html

Ok, how about (in no particular order):

1. Shaq
2. Yao
3. Kaman
4. Ben Wallace
5. Brad Miller
6. Andrew Bogut
7. Diaw

And that's just off the top of my head, let me check the yahoo sports website real quick....

Yeah, so let's add Marcus Camby, Chris Bosh, Nenad Kristic (who's just 21), Dwight Howard, Emeka Okafor, Amare Stoudamire, Duncan and Pao Gasol to the list. I mean, I'm not even getting into the list of guys who aren't centers at all (see Elton Brand and Kevin Garnett) who aren't centers at all that I would prefer playing to Z. Hell, if I was Cleveland I'd be willing to trade Z for Shawn Marion and play him and/or LeBron at the PF spot. Everyone knows LeBron is as tall as Elton Brand right? I would even trade him for Shaun Livingston.

I don't know who you are Chris Mannix, or what planet you're living on, but the Z-man is damn near useless as an offensive option (unless he's option #1).

Exhaustion

Well, it has been a difficult week. Health news continues to get worse, although really there is nothing that bad happening, and I'll probably be completely fine.

What else is going on? The answer to that would be I have no idea. I'm out of sleep, haven't been exercising, and am completely off-balance.

Hopefully I can pull myself together quickly, because that's what it is going to take. There's a good chance I've got a job lined up, and that would mean I need to get done by August. No easy feat, but no impossible mountain either.

Not sure if I have a point today.

Later

Probability Moon

Probability Moon, by Nancy Kress.

When it comes to science fiction, I really like it hard. I mean really hard. Like so hard that you need a degree in physics to understand what's happening. So Stephen Baxter is really right up my alley. I like Heinlein a lot.

In the past couple of years though, I've begun to appreciate the 'softer side' of sci-fi. The stories that have more to do with personalities than technicalities. As a result I've read a lot of Phillip K. Dick, and I've muddled my way along in books like "Dead Things" by Richard Calder.

So I decided to give Probability Moon a try, mostly because it looked like a blend of those two things: hard Sci-Fi and interesting characters.

As it turns out I don't think this book does either particularly well.

This is book 1 in a trilogy, and you can tell. Nancy Kress paints a universe that has a lot of depth (ancient races seeding the galaxy, interstellar conflict, mysterious artifacts) and a lot of detail on one particular planet (World...yes that's the name of the planet). But the whole book feels like a snippet introduction to a larger story.

There's something in this book about free will. The Worlders are weird, they have a biological mechanism that forces them (via head pain) to all accept a shared reality. Reality what is meant by reality is the social construct. Anyone who does something 'not real' experiences dramatic head pain. So no real violence happens (violence is unacceptable, and therefore not real).

My real question is whether or not the Worlders have free will, and whether they can make technological advancements. There's a lot of flower action happening here (religious in nature), that implies a lot of backstory as well. But I find it hard to believe that such a society could exist.

Nancy Kress, of course, make anything possible by an ancient and mysterious artifact. We learn precious little about this artifact or anything else in her little universe by the end of the first book. For a 6+ hour investment of time, I would really appreciate a little more. The only reason I plan on going back to the library to get the rest of the trilogy is sheer bloody-mindedness. I'd say there's a 35-40% chance I won't read the books even if I get them.

The Final Verdict: Probability Moon is an interesting, but ultimately unfulfilling read. I give it a 4 out of 10.

Jason Terry Suspended?

Why is it that Jason Terry gets suspended because he pushes off with a closed fist, and Bruce Bowen makes the all-defensive team by hitting people all game long with his elbows?

I cry bullshit David Stern. Bullshit.

And that's what a kidney stone looks like...

Anyone who reads this blog probably knows me, and is somewhat concerned for my well-being. I guess one purpose of this blog is to keep my friends and family informed on my life.

Well, this morning I experienced an emergency room.

Don't freak out, I'm fine! I'm fine!!! I'm going to be ok!

I refer you to my article from a few days ago about feeling ill. Today it was worse. When I say it was worse, I can't possibly say it strongly enough. I got up, felt a little odd, but nothing major. I made cookies last night and I popped one in my mouth just before heading out the door.

The result was almost instantaneous. I could feel my stomach start to expand, filling my torso. Within 5 minutes I was in agony, and within 10 minutes I was beginning to understand why some people aren't afraid of death. I wish I was kidding. I was feeling so horrible that I did not stop my wife from calling the nurses hotline.

Let's just repeat the symptoms: Severe abdominal pain, tightness across the chest (thanks to all that stomach swelling), I had broken out sweating. The nurse just said to call 911. Do not pass go, do not drive there, call 911. Apparently these are the magic words that say "Heart attack".

Well, we called 911, and after talking to the operator I made the executive decision to just let my wife drive me there. On an intellectual level I didn't believe for a second that I had any kind of heart problems, but the pain was so bad that it was seriously screwing up my thought-process. I was having a hard time seeing things, I was feeling emotionally unstable. It has been a long time since I've been in this much pain.

We head to the emergency room. After about 10,000 hours of agony the most wonderful woman in the world that isn't a relative walked into the room with something she called a "Swartz cocktail." It was a painkiller for the GI tract. I have never been so happy to take something in my life. I immediately began feeling better.

Nevertheless, there are a variety of things that could be causing the GI pain (EKG ruled out the heart problems immediately). The doctor initially suspected gall-bladder stones or infection...so off to the ultrasound.

I've never seen or used an ultrasound, but I know the principle. As soon as she went over my right kidney I knew. She wouldn't confirm or deny anything, but I was absolutely certain I had two kidney stones (saw two locations where the density was much higher). I was facing away from the screen for the other kidney, so I didn't know if I had stones on that side too, but I saw the gall-bladder and liver (not sure if you even get stones in your liver): No stones there. Or rather, I should say, no density changes there (because that's how I think the ultrasound works...creates a visual based on changes in density? Can anyone tell me more?). Following bloodwork and a CT scan this is what's up:

The GI problems: Probably an early-onset ulcer or severe acid reflux. No bleeding ulcer. Take these ant-acid meds for a couple of months, talk to your family doctor, get on with your life.

The Kidney stones: Apparently I have a congenital blockage. The flow of material from the kidney into the bladder is not quite right, which leads to some backing up. Nothing is blocking it now, but the doctor suspects that I've probably passed kidney stones in the past. Which is a shock to me, since the pain level is supposedly fantastically out of this world. Maybe this means I haven't, maybe this means I have a really high pain threshold. I'm really hoping for the latter. The other kidney is fine. Since one kidney is fine there is no immediate disaster, but I'm going to have to see a urologist, possibly do some other stuff. We'll see. The prescription on the kidney stones for now is to just drink a lot of water (not a problem, although I'm cutting out the caffiene). The two kidney stones may, at some point, dislodge, and I should anticipate agony if they do. Up to a urologist to figure out what to do about it.

So I'm back home now, although I haven't removed my little wristband. I'm dreading the thought of someday having more problems with the kidney. I'm not sure what I can do non-invasively to deal with it, I'm not entirely sure how big of a deal it is. The doctor didn't seem to think it was catastrophic.

I hope he's right.

I feel like I have to tell you guys this, but now I'm going to go collapse in exhaustion (mentally mostly).

Oh, and I made cookies for someone's birthday (you know who you are)...sorry I didn't get to bring them in to work!

Other ideas

And now we return to random snippets from my latest book:

----------
Regin stared out over the valley. The early morning sky was blood red, and the river below reflected that morbid omen. Behind him the snorting of impatient horses and restless soldiers reminded Regin that the troop should get moving.
Somewhere down there in that valley was a band of Kul Tavaree monsters. Likely no more than 20 or 30 strong, but probably an even matchup for 100 shadowy horsemen. With a barbaric yalp Regin spurred his horse and plunged forward into the valley.

-

The sun broke through the clouds. Slowly Roland became aware of his surroundings. The river had spit him out onto the remains of a beaver dam. Sticks jabbed painfully into his back. Roland's left arm was numb and he could feel a burning sensation on his forehead. Carefully he pulled himself upright. The water was shallow here. A stench rose from the corpse of a horse that had also washed downriver. A saddlebag was still hanging off the saddle.
The bag contained a full complement of gear: A change of closes, some bandages, a knife and a tinderbox. Roland stripped off his ripped clothes and let them wash downstream. Bandages covered his numerous cuts and bruises. A crude sling soon held his arm.
Had any others survived? Were they looking for him? Was he permanently lost?

-

Lightning crashed to the ground mere feet from Regin. The warlock was risking much to destroy him, yet Regin survived. With a growl the warlock moved closer. Regin leapt forward, letting the warlock get too much space would mean more lightning.
Suddenly Regin felt himself grabbed from behind and lifted off the ground. A huge, 12 foot tall stone giant had appeared out of nowhere. Regin kicked his legs forward and then swung with the backwards momentum into the giant. The black sword lashed out in a vicious arc that slashed across the chest of the giant.
As the giant released him Regin tucked into a ball and rolled. The warlock, apparently in the middle of another spell, didn't even look up as skidded to a stop mere feet away. Without a moment's pause the black blade was cutting a terrible arc that was hardly impeded at all by the warlock's neck. The stone giant disappeared. The mage's body turned to dust.
And I remain.

------------

If you'd like to read more of this fascinating story of wizards and warlocks, swords and staffs, adventure and tragedy, then please send me money. Seriously, cuz otherwise I've got to get back to work.

Open letter to the Spurs....

Dear Spurs Fans,

I would like to gloat. I really would. Dallas took a 3-1 series lead, Dirk hit the key free throws to send it to overtime. San Antonio gave up at the end of overtime by not even fouling when it was a five point lead and 20 seconds left. I could see the frustration on their faces. I enjoyed it.
But I really can't gloat, because the game was cheapened by horrible officiating. The list of unbelievable calls is riduculously enormous. The time Duncan lost the ball going up for a dunk and they called it out on Dallas. The time Manu leaned into Josh Howard, fell down untouched, then kicked out to trip up Howard and the foul was called on Howard. The five times in the second half that Duncan traveled.
Of course I'm remembering best the calls that favored the Spurs. The Spurs fans, I'm sure, are thinking of that last foul call on Bowen. There's really no defense for the officials. That was perfect defense. The thinking, by the officals, had to be that they weren't going to let Bowen get away with his usual cheapshots on a game-deciding play. But for once Bowen didn't use a cheap shot. He played straight up, and it might have been enough (we'll never know if Diggler would have had his own miss there).
So I'd like to celebrate Dallas stomping on the Spurs throats and taking a 3-1 lead back to San Antonio. Don't get me wrong. A lesser team (for instance, the Pistons/Cavs/Heat/Suns/Clippers/Nets) would have lost that game, even with the extra chance at the end. Not Dallas. I wrote on my blog that I thought Dallas would crush the Spurs in 5, I still stand, tenatively, by that prediction.
But what I need you to do in the next game, Dallas, is blow them out. Make it a laugher. I'm sick of seeing Bruce Bowen bitching to the officials...and actually having something to bitch about.

My own personal weird

So I'm at work, which means I should be working. I even have a ton of stuff to get done. Why am I not working? Because I'm feeling really ill. I'm optomistic this will pass, since I'm not leaving (time sensitive sampling).

This is my "take a few moments to collect yourself". What is a relaxing and fun topic?

Of course,
The NBA:

LeBron: Not so easy to be Da Man with Tayshaun over there, is it? I really can't see the Pistons losing a game in this series, but then again, they've never swept a series, and the Cavs had them semi-figured out by the end of Game 2.

Steve Nash: If I hear one more idiot comment from Bill Simmons implying that Steve Nash shouldn't have won the MVP because Jason Kidd, Isaih Thomas, and John Stockton didn't win it when they had better seasons I am going to write an even longer sentence than this one! Why didn't Thomas, Kidd and Stockton win it? Maybe because Magic, Duncan and Jordan were playing? I mean, if we can't give the MVP award just because somebody in the past had a better year and didn't win it, then why in the hell should LeBron get ANY consideration? Doesn't anyone remember Scottie Pippen's great season? But did Pippen win it? No. What about Kobe? Jordan lead a team to the best record in the league, actually kept his teammates involved, and lost the MVP to Karl Malone one year. So since Jordan had a better season one year, Kobe can't win it this year?
I mean serious Bill Simmons. I'm a big fan (a BIG fan). But c'mon, don't act like an idiot. We're judging guys based on their performance from this year.

Dirk: As long as we're in the MVP discussion here, the fact that Dirk didn't crack the top 2 is a joke. I mean, I've heard rumblings of racism with Steve getting voted in twice, but if you want to see real racism just try and figure out why Dirk, a top 3 talent on the 3rd best team with no other All-Star calibur players on his team, who just happened to post a 29 and 10 this year, doesn't get the MVP. It isn't because he's white, it's because he's German!

Let's review for anyone who doesn't get it: This year (and last) we have a bunch of seriously flawed MVP hopefuls. Shaq and Duncan were not themselves, LeBron's not making his teammates better and his team sucks, Kobe is actively making his team worse (more on this later), Nash is not that great an individual player, D-Wade is slowly becoming a Penny-Kobe hybrid...is there anyone else worth considering? Compare this to the Duncan and Kidd debate a few years back: the best players at their position, all-time great seasons, hall of fame talent, make their teammates better, incredible statistical seasons, redefining their position. No one this year is having a season that compares. If Duncan was 2 years younger and healthy he might have averaged 35 and 20 this season!

Ok, I suppose I can get of my MVP soapbox for awhile. Just ticks me off.

The Heat: I really have no clue anymore. When this team is clicking, they seem like they can beat anyone. I think this is their only shot though. D-Wade's game actually seems to be regressing a little. He needs to add the 3 to his skills full-time. He doesn't seem to be able to fall right though. I think the Manu strategy of exagerating the impact (with flailing limbs, etc.) is backfiring, because it leaves you vulnerable to high-impact falls. Yeah, you may get the foul call, but you are hurt the rest of the damn game.

The Nets: If the old and sliding Heat team shows up, then the Nets will demolish them. If the silky smooth Heat show up, the Nets really can't do anything to improve on what the Bulls did.

Pistons: Oh yeah. Even the good Heat probably can't take 3 games off the Pistons right now.

Spurs-Mavs: This is the Finals. Winner gets the whole thing, and my prediction, right now in writing after having seen the first 2 games: The Mavs in 5. I think the Mavs will go back to Dallas and step on the collective throat of the Spurs, and the Spurs (judging from past history) are incapable of coming back from a large deficit (or a Game 5 loss). I think the Mavs are too good right now. The Spurs don't have enough good defenders to hand four scorers, unless you think Big Shot Rob is going to magically regain his lateral quickness to stay in front of Josh Howard. Although, if I'm Greg Popovich, then I add Nick the Quick to the starting lineup and remind him that the Mavs traded him away two years ago for (eventually) Devin Harris.

Bruce Bowen: I get that the refs are going to give superstars calls. Shaq (who is getting called on some stuff this year) usually gets to bowl people over. LeBron and Parker take more steps than a ballerina. If you so much as breath heavy on Kobe you're getting a foul. But what is with Bruce getting free reign to shove people around and hit them? In the first 2 games of this series he has pushed Dirk as Dirk is catching the ball almost every time. When this happens in the post I can understand it (lots of stuff happens in the post), but Dirk plays out at the top of the key. Watch any other series (or any other defender), you catch the ball near the top of the key or even the free-throw line, and you can't get away with that shit. It's gotten really ridiculous in the Mavs-Spurs games, because if, say, Manu switches onto Dirk, then they call a foul on him.
Hello! Exactly the same play! Not a foul when Bowen does it. This leads, inevitably to...

The Refs: The officiating has been horrible. Unbelievably horrible. The games that haven't been ridiculous have been apparently ridiculous (e.g., Game 4 of Bulls-Heat) because the numbers were so weird. Tyson Chandler couldn't even stay on the floor through most of the Bulls-Heat series because (apparently) he killed an official's son last year. That's the only possible infraction he committed on many of those plays. Equally egregious was game 4 of the Lakers-Suns series, where 2 guys were shouting time-out, Nash got fouled, Luke Walton "tied up" the ball while standing out of bounds, and two officials were within 5 feet of the action. What exactly are the officials even doing out there? How about the "inadvertent whistle" when Manu tossed the ball back to a 'not-quite-there-yet' Duncan? The whistle's are now blowing 'before' the infraction?
And I really, REALLY, hate the whole "We won't blow the whistle if the shot goes in." idea. Who thought of that, and why wasn't that person immediately kicked out of the NBA.
How about this idea:
If you see a foul, call it. That's it. Sure you'll miss some, but hey, you're missing some now. Don't call the fouls that "must have taken place". Call the fouls you see.

The Clippers: Could things have worked out any better for the Clips? I'm even worried about the Mavs playing them in the Conference Finals. The Suns had a good year without Amare. If Kurt suddenly appears and is capable of playing, or if Brian Grant gets into a time machine, then maybe the Suns win another game. In fact, we might even see a force of will game. MVP's summon those kind of games, and Nash has another one coming (after Game 6 against the Lakers). I'll put the odds of the Clippers winning the whole thing (yes, the WHOLE THING) at 1 in 15. 1 in 1 odds of beating the Suns ( no question). 1 in 3 odds of beating the winner of Mavs-Spurs, and 1 in 5 odds of beating the Pistons (who are going to be shell-shocked when they play a good team in three weeks).

In fact the Clips have a matchup advantage over every upcoming opponent but the Pistons. They can bang at Nowitzki and Dampier with Kamen and Brand, they can exploit the Spurs C and slowness, and they are going to continue to kill the Suns. The Pistons are a problem though...no obvious weaknesses. If the Clips play the Pistons, I expect swift defeat. Anything else will be due to: a) remarkable individual performances by Brand, Cassel and Livingston, b) fantastic coaching, or c) Livingston suddenly playing at his maximum possible level -- Magic Johnson-esque. I guess the Pistons could have injuries in the backcourt.

The Suns: They need Amare back. But they really need him back with a better defensive attitude. The Suns defense would, however, get significantly better by bumping Marion back to the 3 and Diaw to the 4. That would help the rebounding and defense tremendously. This season was impressive, a good showing without the services of Amare. Still, if I'm the Suns, I have to figure there's only one chance for us to win it all next year:

Amare for KG. Make it happen. Raja Bell, Eddie House and Amare for KG. Make it happen. Gives you a starting lineup next year of: Kurt Thomas, KG, Marion, Barbosa, Nash and you can bring Tim Thomas, James Jones and Boris Diaw off the bench. That team wins the title. It wins the f*cking title. And the next year it struggles to make the playoff. Who cares? You'll have your big fancy rings already in hand.

Shaken...now stirring.

I'm free to write about whatever I deem appropriate here...so let me spend some moments to recount for you the horrors of this past night.

I was up late, I'll admit that, but only until around 1. Then I shuffled off to bed. Unbeknownst to me, this was to be a mistake.

By falling asleep I apparently allowed a demonic intrusion of my body to take place. By 2 30 the demon had settled in my stomach and was, for all intends and purposes, filling it with fire. I awoke soon afterwards. The 7 hours of roiling agony that followed are not ones I would choose to repeat. Not only was my body burning up from the inside, but somehow my convulsions caused my lower back to twist in an awkward way, thus insuring that I could never find any comfortable position. I tried sitting up, standing up, laying down, all in an assortment of decrative poses. No luck.

Early on I took a couple of Pepto tablets. I have no idea why, clearly the devil-thing in my belly was invulnerable to small inanimate objects, and took offense to my attempting to heal myself.

By 8 o'clock I was really, really tired, but there was no position of my body that would allow sleep to come. Indeed, I was beginning to wonder (as I always do when ill) whether a peaceful rest would ever appear again.

The answer, around 9 30 in the morning, was yes. Apparently the demon had been expelled during some of my many involuntary attempts to do so. The remaining rumblings in my stomach were apparently parts of my digestive track beginning the long, painful process of repairing the damage.

Needless to say I feel like shit. And I place the blame on you Cici's pizza. I'll admit I ate some other things last night, but ice cream and toast has never included a small denizen of the abyss. I guess that comes standard at Cici's

Regardless, I've got too much to do today. I'm waiting on a ride to head into work, where I'll no doubt face doubt as to the validity of my claims. More and more lately I hate work, and in my weakened state I can't even convince myself that it is worthwhile.

Off I go!

New Car Search

And by "new car" I mean "new to me car."

I've been on this hunt for awhile (see my earlier entry entitled Car Envy). I'm a ways from buying anything still, but I have some broad needs/ideas.

Idea #1: Alternative Fuel vehicles...
I like two ideas here. Buying a cheap diesel vehicle ( an 80s Mercedes Benz) and running it on veggie oil part-time. This seems like a pretty neat idea, since it would be relatively cheap (once a new diesel tank is put in) and uses a product that would otherwise be wasted (I think). It seems like I should be able to buy one of the Mercedes-Benz diesels for <$3000, and even if I don't do the veggie oil thing, then diesel is relatively cheap and they get better than 30 mpg.
The other thought was to buy a vehicle that will operate on ethanol (E85). There's an ethanol station just down the road from us, and there are a lot of vehicles that will run on both E85 and ordinary gasoline. These vehicles are called flex-fuel vehicles and the one I'm interested in is a Ford Ranger pickup. This vehicle would fall into category #2 as well.

Idea #2: A 'moving-stuff' vehicle...
Having a vehicle that we could move bigger stuff around would be nice. The Escort just doesn't haul much. It would be nice to have something we could pile our camping stuff into, or when we buy wood/other stuff from the hardware store.
My thoughts here are running along two lines: Dodge Caravans (some models get ~32 mpg, some even have flex-fuel) and Ford Rangers (>25 mpg usually, and some flex fuel)

Idea #3: A cheap vehicle.
And by this I mean cost of <$2500, gas mileage >30 mpg, and something with great 'reliabilty'. The old mercedes-benz's fit into this category pretty well. The Rangers and Caravans seem to get good gas mileage and have good reliability. I've also seen some other random vehicles that seem ok (e.g., a 1990 mustang with low miles).

So the question is, where can I get a vehicle that fits those criteria (Alt. fuels, cheap, big enough to move stuff). The answer is: probably nowhere. I'm probably going to have to compromise on part of this. At least, that's what it is looking like now. There is a ford ranger truck available in Missouri that is flex fuel and (for now) less than 2500 on Ebay, but I imagine it is going to go for above 3 g's. Am I willing to pay that?

Good question.

The alternative is to just not get a new car. There certainly doesn't seem to be any necessicity to buy one, I'm getting along ok.

So those are my thoughts on getting a new car. Not sure if anyone needed to know them or not, but if you've gotten this far, then they are in your brain and there's nothing you can do about it.

PS:

The Suns-Lakers series is the most amazing playoff series I've seen since Lakers-Kings in '02.

The NBA

I haven't really talked much about the NBA playoffs (or anything else the past week or so) but I'm going to have to remedy that right now.

This are the greatest NBA playoffs I have ever seen.

With the exception of the Memphis Grizzlies (who are getting waxed by my Mavs) and the Denver Nuggets (who are self-imploding), there isn't a team in the playoffs who doesn't look like they could make the conference finals. Seriously. I'm going series by series here, and I'm going to point out everything I've learned.

Pistons v. Bucks:

Everyone was talking about the '4 great games' theory with Kobe before the playoffs. Apparently we're living in a world that only 4 great games from Micheal Redd will propel the Bucks past the league's top team.

Weird.

And does anyone else think the Pistons are on cruise control? This is the playoffs.

Heat v. Bulls

I think it is official. The list of NBA head coaches who are moderately competent has been expanded by one. Welcome to the club Scott Skiles. Frankly, he's got to be near the top of the list. And, despite Tyson Chandler's numerous problems, if he was playing for the Suns right now, then they would be already be awaiting the winner of the Clips-Nuggets.

Dwayne Wade isn't perfect.

Apparently you can win in the playoffs with a group of scrappy, offense-oriented, workaholics. I can't possibly see the Heat taking this in less than 7, and I'm not convinced they've got any real shot at beating them at all.

So this is what it looks like when two teams play great offense for 4 games in a row. I had forgotten.

Nets v. Pacers

Rick Carlise is a great coach as well. Every year his teams head to the playoffs looking like they will get decimated. Every year they do a little better than we would expect.

Ron Artest is an asshole.

Vince is good, real good.

I actually haven't seen much of this series.

Cavs v. Wizards

I'll admit it, I'm sick of Gilbert Arenas.

LeBron and Gilbert put up good numbers, but they are the least smooth NBA stars I have ever seen. LeBron in particular makes Shaq look like a gazelle.

I like Caron Butler's game. He seems like he could play on the Bulls.

Spurs v. Kings

Did I mention Ron Artest is an asshole?

Apparently I missed the memo that said Manu Ginobilli was still a great 2-guard.

Tony Parker - Other than Duncan, no one is more critical for this team right now.

Mike Bibby - What happened to you man?

Suns v. Lakers

Everyone is saying "This proves Nash doesn't deserve the MVP vote over Kobe." Hello! HELLO!? This series (after game 4) proves that Kobe shouldn't even be close to the MVP voting. Doesn't anyone in the media get it? Kobe is the most talented player in the NBA, nobody can argue that. But if Kobe had played all season the way he has in this Suns series, the Lakers would have won 55 games! At least. They might have competed for the top spot in the West.

And this series also proves why Nash should be MVP. The award is based on the in-season performance. He held this group of guys together throughout a regular season, and lead them to over 50 wins and the division championship. Anyone who watched them play knew that this team was pretty much doomed in the Western Conference playoffs. They have no size. I mean no size. Tim Thomas, last seen playing the 3 position for New York, is lining up at the C/PF spot. Boris Diaw is giving up 4 inches and at least 40 pounds to his opponent. Shawn Marion is trying to guard Lamar Odum, which looks nice on paper, until you realize he's giving up almost 5 inches to a guy who's as versatile as KG. What holds this team together and keeps them functioning? Steve Nash. But given enough time, and a clever enough opponent, there's simply nothing the Suns can do to overcome the lack of size.

These are two really, really good coaches, but Phil Jackson is clearly superior.

I'm pretty much without any remaining hope for the Suns in this series. Game 4 was a heart-breaker. I don't think the officiating was horribly skewed to favor the Lakers or the Suns, but both teams had a lot to complain about. The obvious lack of a timeout call was pretty astounding, considering Boris Diaw was running over yelling for a timeout as well. The lack of a call on Luke Walton at the end of regulation was most frustrating. This is the classic problem with officials: They don't blow the whistle at the end of games. Does that mean you can just hammer anyone at the end of games? What if Raja Bell had wrapped up Kobe on the jumpshot in overtime? Would they have called that? What about changing the call on the play where Boris Diaw got fouled? Would either call have been made if it was in the last 10 seconds?

I guess this is the series that pisses me off the most.

Nuggets v. Clippers

Melo isn't making his teammates better here.

Brand is struggling, but not struggling.

The Nuggets are a dirty group of players.

K-Mart just lost any hope in hell of being a relevant player again.

Chris Kaman has a lot of restraint.

Earl Boykins is just not as useful in the playoffs (too much time to prepare for him).

Mavs v. Grizzlies

The Grizz are just not good enough.

The Mavs are hungry.

Dirk should be MVP. Nobody means more to his team. I mean, yeah Kobe is great, but you take him away, and that Lakers team still has Lamar Odum. Take Dirk away from the Mavs and what do you get? Who's the next best player? Other than Jason Terry, is there anyone who can generate 20 points a game? 10 boards a game? Dirk is the most overlooked MVP candidate.

Three keys to being MVP: How good would your team be with you replaced by a decent player at your position? How good was your team? How good is the rest of your team?

Of the four major MVP candidates (Lebron, Nash, Dirk, Kobe) , winner of the first question is probably LeBron by a hair, cuz Cleveland would be awful without LeBron (much worse than the Lakers without Kobe or the Mavs without Dirk, although the Suns without Nash are pretty bad). The second question goes, overwhelmingly, to Dirk (only three teams acted like title contenders during the season, and the Mavs were one of them). The third question is a toss-up between Dirk and LeBron (Nash and Kobe have good talent on their teams, despite what everyone says), but LeBron has a 2 time allstar center. The next best player on the Mavs is probably Jason Terry, who was the best part of a perenial lottery team in Atlanta. Josh Howard might be better, but the guy can't stay on the court. Dirk also has to play with Eric Dampier. Damnit Dampier. Why aren't you Steve Nash?

And I'm burnt out.

My hope? A Mavs-Clips Western Conference finals. A Bulls-Pistons Eastern Conference Finals, and the Mavs beating the Pistons in 6.

Grizzly Man

So, for those of you who haven't seen this movie, I should warn you, the guy dies.

I figure that's pretty much the only way you've heard about it however.

Let's get to the issue here.

This movie is pretty interesting, because it is about a guy who is aware that everyone dies.

And he decides, what the hell. I'm going to risk my life doing something I really love.

Maybe he's right, maybe he's wrong, maybe he's stupid, maybe he's smart.

For 13 years he gets along ok.

Then he gets eaten by a bear.

Pretty inevitable. I mean, I don't think this guy was thinking to himself "I'm going to die in a hospital bed." He was thinking "I'm enjoying my life completely."

And I can't fall asleep because of this.

More to follow.

What a weekend!

So, in the last 4 days I have:

1. Had a committee meeting (basically, defended what I do to my committee)
2. Given a talk to a bunch of toxicologists (keep in mind, I'm an ecologist, so I wasn't sure what to expect).
3. Helped set up, particpate in, and break down an 'invasive species awareness' booth at an Earth Day festival.
4. Organize the transfer of that same booth to an "Environmental Fair" at my church.

This has involved a lot of getting up early (7, 5:15, 7, on consecutive days), working hard, getting really stressed out, and eventually collapsing out of exhaustion.

On the plus side, I tied for best poster presentation at the toxicology meeting, got a lot of approval from my committee, and got to see Dave Barry give a spiel at a public school fundraiser.

But I don't want to talk about any of that. Instead I want to talk about something I've never experienced before.

That is joining a society. I'm a member now in several professional societies. For the most part these memberships have been instigated by my need to get discounts for meetings. However, I find myself now in the odd position of not just being a member, but feeling a little awkward because I haven't done anything for the society.

And there's a simple reason why I haven't done anything for these societies: I don't trust them. This is probably an attitude out of another time, but I don't really trust anyone who isn't A) family or B) my age or younger (approximately). Adults (and I realize that at 27 I can hardly call myself anything else anymore) are not trustworthy. The reason is that the older generations have been raised in an atmosphere that I know to be inherently abhorrant to my belief systems. The past (in which all people older than me were raised) is full of racism, sexism, bigotry, world wars, enviromental degradation, religious persecution, and a healthy dose of genocide.

You might say that all those things are still happening today. That's true, to some degree, but I'm alive now, and I can figure out who's legit and who is an asshat. I can't do that for events that happened in the past. I don't know if this, kindly looking, old guy here was really a sexist, racist bastard as a kid. I don't know if he hates Jews or Christians. I might know a little about what he's like now, but I can't possibly know what he is really like. We just don't share enough cultural reference points for me to feel confident in evaluating him.

That's not the same for people in my generation. I know all the cultural landscape, or I at least know enough to get a feel for where any individual fits. A fifteen minute conversation will usually give me a pretty good idea whether I'm talking to a conservative, a liberal, or something else. I don't know the cultural landscape of those older than me, and I'm starting to lose touch of the cultural landscape of those younger than me. Some day I may have to alter my take to say that I can't trust anyone much younger than me, but I think if I just try I'll be able to keep enough contact to still read the landscape.

Where am I going with this?

The point is that in one of the societies to which I have recently sworn allegience just experienced a jolt. The elected president has cancer. She has it very bad, and she's not going to be able to respond to emails or phone calls. I have read the emails, and I can see the jolt this has cast. I'm not sure what to make of it myself.

I think this is why people join societies. So that there are people out there who will care. In a way I don't have that motivation, but in another way I wish I did. I feel like the opportunities to participate are infinite, but I don't really have whatever it is that makes someone capable of taking the next step and actually participating.

I think my headache is back. I feel a little drunk-disconnected. Sorry for the rambling.

Basketball (in general)

First things first:

Tonight is game 2 for team #392 in the basketball tournament. That's my team. After our stunning 11-21 victory (they cheated and were forced to forfeit) over that other team, we have moved on to face "somebody else". If the numbers are rankings (which they aren't) then we just upset a team ranked over 200 spots ahead of us.
Tonight we will play better than we did the other day. Less turnovers and less stupid mistakes. Better defense.
Hopefully the other team won't show up.

Secondly:

The NBA season is coming to a close. I realize the second season is upon us, but the NBA playoffs are a poor substitute for the NBA season. In no particular order, here are the 5 things I'm going to miss about the NBA season.

1. Joe Johnson, Dwight Howard, Gerald Wallace, Luke Ridnour, Allen Iverson and Paul Pierce. These are the guys who aren't going to the dance. They can ball, they make the games exciting, and we won't see them again until October. For that matter we may never see them play again. Who knows when a freak knee injury in practice might end a career? Let's hope these guys come back next year better than ever.

2. Decent officiating.
The playoffs are managed, even micromanaged, by the officials. The amazing scrutiny on every game means that the refs are constantly harassed and belittled by fans, players, and especially, coaches. This has a bad effect on them. Anyone who doesn't think the refs don't respond to these criticism isn't watching the NBA. As the playoffs go on, the officiating increasingly begins to distinguish between a 'star' and a role player. This change in officiating, more than anything else, causes the playoffs to become slow-paced, and favors teams with the experience to exploit it.

3. The Knicks Experience.
Aside from the occasional news report about Larry Brown's financial trouble, and the inevitable stories that will arise when the lotter order is established and the Bulls grab the Knicks' pick, we aren't going to be able to hear any more "How crazy is Isiah?" stories. Those stories will have to wait until the summer, when the Knicks will undoubtably trade Nate Robinson and Jamal Crawford to the TrailBlazers for Joel Pryzbilla, Theo Ratliff, and Darius Miles.

4. Chris Paul and the New Orleans Hornets.
I rooted too hard for this team through the year to not feel sad that they've missed the playoffs. Admittedly I rooted for them because I wanted them to hold off the Lakers, but I rooted for them just the same. In a league where point guards are seemingly the key to success (more on this later), the Hornets have one who is stellar and one who is well-above average. They've also got a young and talented big man, and a passion that is practically collegiate. And, as much as I think Byron Scott secretly wanted to give away the championship to the Lakers in '03, he deserves more credit than he gets for the Nets' back-to-back Finals appearances. Good to see him turn things around.

5. The Fantasy Leagues
I'm currently in 3 NBA fantasy leagues. A 13-team, 6-man roster league with everyone I know who likes basketball (it looks like I'll finish 3rd), a 6-team, 15-man roster league with my Uncles and their friends (looks like I'll win that one), and an 8-team, 13-man roster league with a bunch of my friend's friends (that's a roto-league, and I'm finishing 7th or 8th). I'm not sure what I'm going to do first thing in the morning if I'm not checking my fantasy stats from the night before.
A few subnotes on fantasy leagues here. I've played in 5 now, and here's my impressions. If you're playing a roto-league (either weekly head-to-head matchups or seasonal totals) you've got to pay a lot of attention to what's going happening. Last year I worked out a ridiculously complicated rating system for determining the value of a player, used it throughout the season, and won handily. This year in the roto league I'm in (which was head to head instead of seasonal total), I didn't spend any time worrying about it at all, and I got reamed. I lost my first head-to-head matchup against everyone else in the league, digging myself a hole that I couldn't dig myself out of.
The fantasy leagues, on the other hand, are so simple that it is hard to get ahead. Because everything is added together and averaged on Yahoo!, everybody is capable of easily judging the value of a trade or signing. In contrast the roto-leagues are much more difficult to assess the individual player value, and only those who can figure it out know what's going on.
We also did a 6-player, 5 position league (fantasy stats). With 13-teams in this league, and only 8 quality centers at draftime (Jermaine O'Neal, Boris Diaw, Pau Gasol were all made C's later), that meant 5 teams never had a chance. That was tough. Even among teams who got and held onto a good bigman, even a single injury was a massive obstacle to overcome. I wouldn't recommend that again either.

Anyway. The point is that the regular season is gone, and despite the fact that the NBA playoffs will be fanastic this year (things are totally wide open), there's a lot to miss about the regular season.

Here's to you, 2005-2006 NBA season...good times!

The Various Food Neuroses of Me

It has been a long week since my last post. I won't tell you what I did during that time. I won't mention the fence going up, the fish re-appearing in our pond, my new hammock, a fixed garage door, a repainted kitchen, the new ceiling fans, hanging out and playing video games with my cousin, or cooking tilapia on a wok.

I'm not going to mention any of that.

Instead, I will, for my own personal amusement, relay to you, the readers, the list of my own personal food issues. This is because my wife insists that I'm a picky eater. I don't consider myself such, but oh well.

Let me distinguish first, however, the difference between one of my food neuroses and a simple dislike. For example, I don't like apples, but that doesn't mean I have a problem with apples. If you can prepare something with apples that tastes good, I'm all for it.

Let us begin:

Peanut Butter: As everyone knows, peanut butter sticks to the roof of your mouth. Few people realize, however, that peanut butter also sticks to your soul. You want a clean soul? Don't eat peanut butter.

Seafood: Not "fish", but seafood. If it comes from an ocean I am uncomfortable eating it. There's a small chance I will, but for various environmental and ethical reasons, I cannot eat fish.

Beef: Here I refer to beef produced en-masse. Organic, open range beef is not abhorrant in my eyes, but the kind of beef you're likely to get at a resturant is. And don't even get me started on veal. The reason? Environment again. I do not worry about the suffering of the animals. The ability to become domesticated is a life-history trait that has allowed the cow genes to spread all over the world. Cows will probably exist as long as humans do, so not a bad decision on their part. Huge competitive advantage.

Pork: Eating pig, like eating peanut butter, is just wrong. I can't even precisely describe why, although I usually mention that pork killed Buddha. Unlike peanut butter, pork tastes ok. I have found it within me to eat pork on a handful of occasions, when a particular meal or resturant is renowned for a pork product. For instance, I ate ribs at Rendevous in Memphis Tennessee. Though it required me to cleanse my innards (with the sterilizing power of alcohol), I felt it was worthwhile.

Mammals: In addition to beef and pork in particular, I tend to shy away from any mammal (deer, elk, etc.) due to disease considerations. One disease in particular semi-terrifies me: the prion-based diseases (mad-cow like). I'm much less worried about diseases that will kill me quickly. Bison is a notable exception here.

Internal organs: Again, just wrong.

Sausage: I read The Jungle, which didn't get me to stop eating sausage. Then I read Fast Food Nation, and I realized that The Jungle was still happening.

Trans Fats: If the label says "Partially Hydrogenated" oil of some type, then I ain't eating it. The surgeon general says there is no safe level of trans fat consumption. That means it is basically a poison. I mean there are safe levels of arsenic and lead consumption.

Asparteme, Sucralose: Cancer-causing, fake sweetners suck. I hate them, and I will always avoid them. If I'm going to use a crappy tasting alternative to sugar, I'll go with stevia.

Nuts: Other than pine nuts, and various seeds (pumpkin, sunflower, etc), nuts are horrible. I hate them in anything, to the point where otherwise decent brownies can be ruined by adding nuts. Peanuts are, of course, the more horrifying example of this, but cashews and almonds are equally disgusting.

Eggs: Oddly enough, I eat a lot of eggs. Eat them in drunken noodles, omelotes, scrambled, cookie and bread doughs, eat them all the time. But this is because I have overcome, to some degree, this neurosis. I replace eggs in virtually everything with egg beaters, which are still, apparently, eggs, but I can eat real eggs as well. So maybe this isn't a neurosis anymore. However, I still feel uneasy at the thought of eating eggs, so I'm including it in this list.

Chinese food: Now, if there is one ethnicity who has incurred my neverending wrath, it is the chinese, or at least the schools of chinese cooking that I've experienced (I'm somewhat given to understand that it is southern chinese styles that are most prevalent in the U.S., but I have no real evidence of this). I'm not against oriental food, I like Korean, Thai, Cambodian...but Chinese? No. I think not.

Japanese food: Ok, so there are actually two ethnicities whose food I can't stand, but with Japanese food the problem is mostly related to seafood. They just use too damned much of it. Every time I've gone to a japanese resturant 95 percent of the menu has been seafood. The one person from Japan that I got to know pretty well was a decent cook, and she cooked for us a few times, making non-seafood dishes. Those were good. So I believe in the potential of Japanese food, or at least the cooking methods are interesting I should say.

Fried foods: This is a self-induced neurosis. I ate way too many fried foods as a young adult and high-schooler. I needed to stop, and over the years I've developed (cultivated really) a growing dislike for all things fried....except french fries, of course.


Maybe I am a picky eater. Oh well....I do most of the cooking anyway.

Some Lighter Fare

Ok, well, after yesterdays plunge into the intricacies of mankind's attempts to kill himself in slow motion, let's see if I can't lighten the mood a bit here.

What I've got is a collection of really amazing, astounding, stunning internet websites. I'll keep the webcomics for last, and try to get the generic "Everybody loves this" stuff up front where someone might notice it.

www.pandora.com

Simply put, this is the website for music fans. Nothing else really even comes close. Just type in the name of a favorite musician or song and this site builds you a personalized radio station that will introduce you to other songs and musicians that are similar. It even learns as it goes along, say it plays something you don't like...just tell the program you don't like it and songs like that get axed. This is the kind of thing I've always thought the internet would create, but hadn't yet done so.


Well well. Silly me, I can only think of one interesting thing on the internet that you are unlikely to have previously heard of that doesn't revolve around comic strips.

I guess I could view this in one of a couple of ways: 1) the nooks and crannies of the internet are increasingly losing their novelty or 2) I have a real problem with webcomics.

Nevertheless, I feel it is my obligation to direct you, my loyal friends and readers, to some of the really amazing webcomics out there. Here is my list of 'regulars'. These are comics I check on every time they are update. I suppose we could call them the illustrius ten. I'll go ahead and list them in order of my affection:

10. Lozerz:

This comic is all high-school antics and college guy humor (and viewpoints). Despite this, I really like it, hard to explain why...it's just great. This thing could actually survive in print.

9. Questionable Content

One of the most richly detailed stories in any webcomic. This would be my favorite comic on the web (barring Bob of course) except for the mindnumblingly long time it takes to finish story lines. This is one where I read the first 100 or so strips all at once overnight, that's how good I thought it was. Again, this could survive in print (although not as well).

8. One Man Knife Fight

This is the first example on this list of what I would call 'classic' webcomic humor. Dark, comicly over the top, often extremely violent. I call this classically webcomic humor because no other medium seems capable of replicating this, despite numerous attempts. Read through this one at your own risk, it takes a while to get.

7. white ninja comics

And if classic webcomics are ones that are violent, the other classic is absolute non-linear thinking, taken almost to a fault. In fact, I would suggest that no comic, on the web or elsewhere, are anywhere near at the writing level these guys achieve. The 'poorly' drawn feel of the comic is just a farce.

6. Ctrl+Alt+Del

The third in the holy Trinity of webcomics must be video games. However, only 4 webcomics even matter here. Ctrl+Alt+Del is the second best out there (I will hear no argument otherwise). The best is the 800 pound gorilla upcoming on this list, while the fantastic PlayerVsPlayer (or PvP) is outstanding and Little Gamers is also incredibly entertaining. I don't want to offend other great artist however: VG Cats is in my heavy rotation, I followed Red Vs. Blue religiously for quite awhile, and of course I don't know shit.

5. Perry Bible Fellowship

And now were into the strips that I consider to by 'personal' to me. As in, I feel a deep connection to the comedy or I found them 'independent' of the other strips. PBF is, quite simply, a joy to read. I eagerly await the arrive of the weekly strip, much in the same way I eagerly await my can of pop in the morning. If you know me, you realize the power of such an addiction. I can't put this strip any higher, however, because of a lack of continuity. I need contiguous characters, I'm weak that way.

4. Boy on a Stick and Slither

On many occasions I have been heard to recite "There is nothing wrong with you that reading a 100 strips of Boy on a Stick and Slither won't make you feel better about." If that sentence makes any sense at all (and I think it does if you concentrate), then so does BOSAS. If it doesn't, well, hey, at least it is very colorful!

3. diesel sweeties

I wasn't looking for a wonderful comic strip when I stumbled onto Diesel Sweeties. I was looking for something to pass an hour before dinner. I read a few strips, then did something else. Apparently something stuck, because that night I came back and read the entire, enormous archive in one long, unbelievably long, setting. I'm still not sure why I like this strip so much, but I feel happy to read it.

2. Penny Arcade

Well, Penny Arcade is so popular that I'm sorta stunned when I find people who don't know what it is. This is pretty much the pinnicle of success in webcomics. There's no higher peak above this. The strip is simple. It sticks closely to the holy Trinity of webcomics (violence, randomness, video games), and in fact makes most other strips seem like pale imitations. I couldn't possibly be more irritated by the persistent problems in there archives, because the strips are so good that re-reading them is a joy. Oddly enough though, the Penny Arcade experience is as much about the accompanying news-posts as it is about the comic. This might actually work against it, since I'm always torn when I first get to the site as to whether I should read the post or the strip first. Usually I read the strip first. I crave new Penny Arcade strips the way an addict craves heroin.

1. Bob the Angry Flower

Well, this should be no surprise to those who know me. This is the ultimate expression in random over-the-top. I'm not even sure the strip is really funny anymore. It has sorta transcended mere humor and moved into some higher place. A place of happy chaos. The early strips are so good I'm almost moved to tears. There was a stretch there were I was continuing to read based almost totally on faith, but the creator has brought his strip through that rough patch admirably. If I had to pick one strip I wanted to continue to read over the next 10+ years, and I could only pick one, I'd pick Bob the Angry Flower. I'd pick Bob over Calvin and Hobbes, Get Fuzzy, Penny Arcade, and any other comic strip you can imagine.



So there you have it...My Top Ten WebComics. I'm leaving out a lot of great comics, this is just my list, and has nothing objective about it. Maybe sometime I'll make a list of comics that deserve honorable mention here in the near future. Until then....poke around the archives of those strips I mention above and have fun!

Later

Darwin's Nightmare and the Problem of Capitalism

This has been a busy weekend. Today we had a tilapia cooking festival at a friend's house. I bought a hammock and layed out in the sun of our backyard. I shot hoops. Yesterday we went to a Hawaiian feast and musical show. Friday we went to a late-night showing of Darwin's Nightmare, which, despite my late mention of it, cast a shadow over all the weekend.

For those of you unfamilar with the show, let me just give some background:

Lake Victoria is easily one of the most improbable things in the world. Most large lakes in the north have formed due to glacier action. The Laurentian Great Lakes (those that border me as I write this) were formed by repeated glaciations. Lake Victoria isn't like that at all. Lake Victoria is in the tropics, and loses so much water a day that for a while people wondered why it hadn't evaporated. I think it is rift lake, meaning it is formed by cracks in the earth where continents have split. This is, sorta, the source of the Nile.

A whole bunch of us ecologists went to see the movie because you can't talk about Lake Victoria without talking about invasive species. Back around the middle of the century some idiot decided to throw Nile perch in the lake, and nothing has ever been the same. This is what lured us ecologists in, but I don't think we anticipated what the movie was about.

You see, it is easy to say "This isn't how it should be". And say the Nile perch shouldn't be there. But right now the Nile perch is damned near the only thing in the country of Tanzania that is worth anything at all. The country is immersed in abject poverty, hammered by the convergence of massive ecological devastation, rampant disease, and mankind's biggest hangup.

The ecological devastation is caused by the Nile perch. The fish has eaten almost all the other species of fish in the lake. As a result, where the lake-side fishing communities once pulled smaller fish from the near-shore reaches to feed themselves, the hunt for Nile perch is now consuming all the young and able bodies. The hunt has brought villagers from across the region to huge 'fishing islands'. The perch are brought ashore and fed almost exclusively into factories that process the fish into fillets.

The rampant disease is HIV-AIDS. The fishing islands are where prostitutes go to make their money. The men are wiped out, spending their last dimes to catch a bus back to their villages, since that is much cheaper than being moved once dead. A massive group of people falling victim to evolutionary hormones. There are preachers here, but they cannot advocate condoms, and cannot convince abstinence. So this massive group is falling quickly to death, and their children are wasting away on the streets.

Mankind's biggest hangup is capitalism. As a result of ecological disaster and rampant disease, the people of Tanzania are starving. The near-shore, traditional fishing opportunities are non-existant. The streets are littered with abandoned children. There is fish still coming out of the lake, but instead of going to feed the starving people it is loaded onto planes and sent to Europe and Russia. The locals survive off dried and fried fish remains. Why do the Tanzanian people send all their food to Europe when they themselves are starving? Money. The locals cannot afford to buy Nile perch. In any just society the locals would eat Nile perch, and the excess would be sold. Capitalism prevents a just society from existing and everyone understands this, and nobody understand how else to do things.

As a little bit of added fun, the planes that take the Nile perch out of Tanzania also deliver guns. Why guns? Because nearby African nations (Rwanda, Kenya, etc) are fighting wars, and someone can make money by providing them.

This film could have been made about the coffee growers in central America, the sugar growers in Brazil, the natives in Ghana, or a dozen other places in the world. Capitalism has made some places extrodanarily rich, but it has done so by making most places undeniably poorer. Yet we persist. We persist in insisting that governments and societies hold true to ideals and carry certain beliefs. We have forgotten that governments are not bigger than humans, and have no value by themselves. In this day and age of global government, we must take a step back and remember that governments serve our needs, not the other way around.

I'm sorry John F. Kennedy. I'm not doing a damned thing for any country if it doesn't represent me.




Postlogue from the Epic of Gilgamesh (for my brothers on the shores of Lake Victoria):

Gilgamesh spoke to her, to the tavern-keeper he said:
  "Tavern-keeper, should not my cheeks be emaciated?
  Should my heart not be wretched, my features not haggard?
  Should there not be sadness deep within me!
  Should I not look like one who has been traveling a long
                                distance,
  and should ice and heat not have seared my face!
  ..., should I not roam the wilderness?
  My friend, the wild ass who chased the wild donkey, panther of
                            the wilderness,
  Enkidu, the wild ass who chased the wild donkey, panther of
                             the wilderness,
  we joined together, and went up into the mountain.
  We grappled with and killed the Bull of Heaven,
we destroyed Humbaba who lived in the Cedar Forest,
we slew lions in the mountain passes!
My friend, whom I love deeply, who went through every hard-
                          ship with me,
Enkidu, whom I love deeply, who went through every hardship
                             with me,
the fate of mankind has overtaken him.
Six days and seven nights I mourned over him
and would not allow him to be buried
until a maggot fell out of his nose.
I was terrified by his appearance(!),
I began to fear death, and so roam the wilderness.
The issue of my friend oppresses me,
so I have been roaming long trails through the wilderness.
The issue of Enkidu, my friend, oppresses me,
so I have been roaming long roads through the wilderness.
How can I stay silent, how can 1 be still!
My friend whom I love has turned to clay.
Am I not like him? Will I lie down, never to get up again?"'

The B-Ball Tournament

Every year at around this time our college has a basketball tournament open to everyone. Every year my fellow grad students and I scrounge up a team or two. The style of these games is decidedly outdoorsy: 5 on 5 with no subs, baskets (all of them) are worth a point, and anyone associated in any way with the college can play (there are teams with all facult members). The only talent rule is a limit on the number of varsity atheletes (1 per team).

So the teams fall into one of three broad categories: 1) Drunk people, 2) Semi-serious but untalented teams, and 3) Serious, talented teams. We fall into that 2nd category. We play to win, but we really aren't that good. This is the first year where we've actually gotten to play our first game in the actual first round. I'd be lying if we didn't think this was a little intimidating. There are something like 500 teams in the tournament, and only the top 30 are ranked, but I get the impression we got stuck playing drunks and short girls the past two years because it was assumed we sucked. They say the rankings are random, but we know better.

But we always crushed those 'play-in' opponents, so apparently we're moving up in the world. If we can win tonights game (apparently against some ROTC guys) then we will have advanced further than any previous year. If we can win just 3 games then we'll make it to the round were they start having refs.

I think we've decided that's the goal. We want to play a game were shouting obscenities at the refs is possible. If we were going up against only our fellow category 2 teams, we might have a chance. Unfortunately, to get there we'd have to play against at least one ranked team, "Hannah's Storm". The last name of their captain is Tallman...that's his frickin' name.

So wish us luck. We're the ultimate underdogs. You thought George Mason was a big upset at the NCAA's because they were an 11 seed? Well the team I'm on is seeded 392. Yeah. In order to get to the round of 64 we'll have to beat a 10 seed. Long live the underdog!

UPDATE!!

Well. We won! 11-21, the other team lost by default because they cheated, which was good, because we got hammered. But I did fill up the stat sheet 2 pts, 1 ast, (3-5) rebounds, 2 steals, 1 block, couple of turnovers. Of course, I should have had about 10 boards, I suck.

Hats

It has reached this point with me: I have a thing for hats. I started out wearing them on weekends and at parties, but pretty soon I started wearing them after school. Eventually it was an every day thing. When I went to college I started wearing a hat every day. Initially it was just caps. Then it was bucket hats, visors and, god help me, even a cowboy hat.
These days I don't even fight it. I see a cool looking hat and I buy it. Hell, I see a stupid looking hat and I buy it. I'm not a collector either, I wear all these hats, and I wear them a lot. I actually started cutting my hair through the winter so that my hats fit better. I get a new one at least once every month or so, and if I go on a vacation without my wife then I'm likely to come back with 3-4 new hats. I'm planning a trip to Alaska this summer and I've already mentally budgetted out a 5 hat allowance.
I like my hats to have some kind of significance. I see my hats as a billboard saying how cool I am for knowing enough about something to buy a hat. So I've got my Mavs visor, my U of K hat. I've got a hat for my buddy's lawn care business and the North American Benthological society. I've got a New Orleans hat and an Ottawa National Forest hat.
That's really only the beginning. I've been restrained lately. I've only got 3 bucket hats that I can think of, but I'm always itching to buy more. I crave, in a nearly unholy way, to own an "Indiana Jones" style wide-brimmed hat. I really like the look of those Oriental wide-brimmed straw hats.
Hats have become my own personal comfort zone. I have a hard time leaving the house without one. Once I arrive somewhere and get comfortable (at my house, work, a friend's house, the movies) I always take off my hat. If you see me around in public, and I'm not wearing a hat, then I'm probably feeling awkward for reasons I won't be able to describe.
I think about creating hats a lot. I've got a whole bunch of words, slogans or logos that I think would be cool on a hat. Like "Endiku" or "Monkeys!". Most people wouldn't buy those, but I would.
So there it is, out in the open. Published on the web. The whole world can see.
No more excuses America! You asked what I wanted for Christmas/Birthday/Tuesday and I've told you: Hats with interesting things on the front!

The Phenom (an NBA article)

The reality is that we all expected this. And by this I mean the Vince Carter experience.

Think back to when Vince was in his second and third year. There was that 50 point game on a Sunday on national TV. The playoff series against the 76ers when he couldn't be stopped.

And then, of course, it all flew apart.

I blame, more than anyone else, Charles Oakley.

Oak, as you may recall, was the one who first said that Vince wasn't a late-game player. He accused Vince of being soft, of not being a vocal leader, and of wilting at the end of games. Keep in mind that Oak was a teammate at the time. So the media started buying it.

This in-team subversion would ultimately undermine Vince for years. His own teammates turned against him, either obviously or covertly. When the injuries started piling up, the team responded by playing better, and Vince became the unlikeable version of Grant Hill.

If you go back to before Oak destroyed the Raptors, then Vince was the second coming. He had MJ's atheleticism, charisma, and scoring ability. He made the game look easy. The Raptors would be playing, and all of a sudden Vince would just explode out of nowhere for a dunk. Vince was such an astounding shooter for his size. Remember that Kobe, at the time, wasn't a particularly great outside scorer. Vince was. Vince could score from anywhere, and there wasn't anyone who could stop him.

Well, injuries made him afraid or unable to get in the air and around guys. His atheleticism wasn't saving him on defense anymore. He lost touch with his teammates. Plus the Raptors brought in or overpaid a series of players who just plain sucked (Hakeem, Antonio Davis, etc). Vince got accustomed to losing.

The trade changed everything. In New Jersey Vince isn't the man (that's Jason Kidd) and he isn't the young gun (that's Richard Jefferson). Instead of worrying about what people and his teammates are going to say about his leadership style, committment, softness, defense, etc., Vince can just play. Everyone questions how hard he played at the end in Toronto, but Vince isn't the only guy to have played with Sam Mitchell who's had enormous problems (see Eric Williams, Alvin Williams, Rafer Alston, Jalen Rose). Those guys aren't soft, and they do work hard, and most of them got better after they left.

Right now Vince is a barely contained force. He's just playing ball. The amazing thing is, he doesn't even look like he's working that hard to play at this level. I can't even imagine what a guy like Jason Kidd could do for a overcompetitive guy like Kobe (is 40 ppg out of reach?), because what he's done for Vince is astounding. Vince is doing things only 1-2 other guys in the league can do, and he's just playing.

And I think that's the key.

How good can Vince be? Can he keep it up in the playoffs? Can anyone stop him?

My guess is this is the year Vince silences his critics.

But we'll see.