Hats

It has reached this point with me: I have a thing for hats. I started out wearing them on weekends and at parties, but pretty soon I started wearing them after school. Eventually it was an every day thing. When I went to college I started wearing a hat every day. Initially it was just caps. Then it was bucket hats, visors and, god help me, even a cowboy hat.
These days I don't even fight it. I see a cool looking hat and I buy it. Hell, I see a stupid looking hat and I buy it. I'm not a collector either, I wear all these hats, and I wear them a lot. I actually started cutting my hair through the winter so that my hats fit better. I get a new one at least once every month or so, and if I go on a vacation without my wife then I'm likely to come back with 3-4 new hats. I'm planning a trip to Alaska this summer and I've already mentally budgetted out a 5 hat allowance.
I like my hats to have some kind of significance. I see my hats as a billboard saying how cool I am for knowing enough about something to buy a hat. So I've got my Mavs visor, my U of K hat. I've got a hat for my buddy's lawn care business and the North American Benthological society. I've got a New Orleans hat and an Ottawa National Forest hat.
That's really only the beginning. I've been restrained lately. I've only got 3 bucket hats that I can think of, but I'm always itching to buy more. I crave, in a nearly unholy way, to own an "Indiana Jones" style wide-brimmed hat. I really like the look of those Oriental wide-brimmed straw hats.
Hats have become my own personal comfort zone. I have a hard time leaving the house without one. Once I arrive somewhere and get comfortable (at my house, work, a friend's house, the movies) I always take off my hat. If you see me around in public, and I'm not wearing a hat, then I'm probably feeling awkward for reasons I won't be able to describe.
I think about creating hats a lot. I've got a whole bunch of words, slogans or logos that I think would be cool on a hat. Like "Endiku" or "Monkeys!". Most people wouldn't buy those, but I would.
So there it is, out in the open. Published on the web. The whole world can see.
No more excuses America! You asked what I wanted for Christmas/Birthday/Tuesday and I've told you: Hats with interesting things on the front!