Sick...sick sick sick

My stomach thwarted my evening plans. I feel like I have a ball of unhappiness where my digestive tract should be. I'm not sure if it was what I ate for dinner, or if it is the stress I'm feeling at trying to stay on top of everything.

And let's be clear: I'm not staying on top of everything.

I like to break things into threes, and right now my life has three components:

1. Paid work.
2. Exercise.
3. Family.

At this point, that means I'm ignoring my 'fake work'...aka. my science, my writing, finances, cooking, gardening, etc. My job is killing me, and trying to lose weight has been really hard all of a sudden. Basically, the only thing I'm not totally blowing off or overwhelmed by is the family stuff. And believe me, that hasn't exactly been relaxing.

This might be a lot easier if I was able to organize my thoughts, but the stress has been preventing me from sleeping. I went to be before 11 the last three nights, and I can't even begin to fall asleep because I'm just lying there thinking about things.

And now tonight I'm feeling so ill it hurts to stand upright. I'm exhausted, beyond tired, beyond any level of exhaustion I've felt in the last six months. Things aren't actually that stressful, but I just can't get on top of anything.